Thursday, March 21, 2013

Random Acts of...Shut the Hell UP!

Walking into Hannaford one day, a lady yells to me: "Grab that cart!" and points to one behind me. 

I reply: "I don't need a cart." 

She informs me that its 'just being a good human being,' 
(the whole time walking away from me) so I turn to said cart...which was atop a flipping snowbank,
and I notice the employee gathering carts at the corral nearby. 
"They're getting it," I motioned. 
And she yelled something (even farther away now) about "random acts of kindness."


While yelling at me WAS random, lady, I find it far from kind!

A few nights later, in honor of the Random Acts grouch lady, I brought this basket in...
even though it was pouring rain...
AND I had to pee.
bite me lady

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Apparently, My 5yr old Loves Weed.

5YR OLD (playing xbox): "Yay, weed! Those were flowers but all the rest is weed."

ME to 12YR OLD: "Is he serious?"

5YR OLD: "I love weed."

ME to 12YR OLD: "WHAT?! Why is he saying that?!!?! Is there really weed on that game?!"

5YR OLD: "Weed is so awesome. I've got all the weed in the world!"


12YR OLD: "What, why?!"

5YR OLD: "Weed, weed, weed. I'm harvesting my weed."

ME: "!!!!!! *points*"

12YR OLD: "MOM! He's playing Minecraft. It's WHEAT."

ME: "Oh. Carry on."