Help!! I'm Surrounded by Penises!!

Ayla

2011-12-30T23:38:00.002-05:00

My heart is heavy. Everyday for the past two weeks, since this little girl went missing from her father's home (15 min from here), I've eagerly checked the online news several times a day hoping upon hope that I'd read the words "Ayla's been FOUND!" But as time passes, and her father remains in hiding, while her mother whores herself out to every media outlet that waves a free plane ticket in her face, the feeling that a happy ending will occur is fading.

We watched as K-9 units and rescue teams searched the blocks near the high traffic area where Ayla Rey,nolds lives. Hugged our little ones tighter as the dedicated men and women hard at work tirelessly looking for Ayla, drained the rivers overnight, to search the riverbeds the next morning for clues, with help from airplanes.

Of course, when things like this happen across the country, you check up on it periodically...like the case of Caylee Anth,ony. I watched and was apalled by how that all went down. My heart aches for all the sweet babies who go missing or worse. But when it happens in your own back yard, so to speak, it shakes you. Wondering if your own children played alongside this one at McD's or the nearby playground we frequented this fall.

Last night, I was restless. And found myself thinking of Ayla once again. I watch far too many episodes of Criminal Minds, SVU, NCIS, etc., but what they have shown me is that a lot of times, the one clue that breaks the whole case open makes you want to slap yourself on the forehead, cuz it was that simple and was overlooked the whole time. I thought well, if this is a case of parental kidnapping (there is a custody battle ensuing and Ayla has a broken arm), then whoever took her hopefully loves her enough to put her in a carseat. Ooooh, or maybe, the parent slipped up and gave them her OWN carseat! Or are on surveillance leaving one of the few department stores in the area, carrying a carseat. I forwarded my thought to the PD and could only hope for the best again today.

But today, the best didn't come. Tonight, they've changed the status of Ayla's case from missing person to a criminal case, involving foul play.

The definitions I found...FOUL PLAY: violence, especially MURDER. Unfair or dishonest behavior (especially involving murder). Synonyms: blood, homocide, murder, rubout, slaying.

Shit.

Please let this sweetheart be okay.

(I cant get a pic to post from my tablet, but if I could it would've been the one of her sweet smile and chubby wrists *swoon*)

WW: All I want for Christmas...

2011-11-08T23:53:00.003-05:00

If you give a mouse Mom a bagel...

2011-11-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to ~~kill~~ catch a mouse.

Little ~~bastard~~ guy keeps setting off the trap and getting away with the loot.

Before setting the trap last night, I was hungry, so I stuck a bagel in the toaster (we'll blame the time change on this would-be midnight snack).

Then I got to work on setting the mouse trap...after all, I had the peanut butter out for my bagel anyway.

So, I smeared the trap up, surprisingly got it to stay set on my first try (lots of practice last night...bastard...grumble), but I wanted it closer to the dishwasher, cuz I think my wittle fwiend is under there ~~laughing at me~~ hanging out.

I was using a spoon to slide the set trap gently across the floor (I think I was holding my breath, even), when

SNAP!!!

My bagel popped up.

And I peed my pants.

The end.

SOC

2011-11-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how much toilet paper we go through. There are 6 pen!ses and ONE vajayjay in this house...and I'm always scraping the roll. What the sh.. Oh... riiiight.

I wrote 2 emails this past week having to apologize to 2 teachers for my oldest's disrespectful and disruptive chatter...which means, I should probably forward it to his 4 other teachers. But the detention he served, our "talk", taking his phone away and changing his FB password for 2 weeks should hopefully do the trick...how come "good parenting" never leaves me feeling good??

There's a mouse in the house. Fascinating, eh? The little (or...I'm beginning to think...not-so-little) effer set off the same trap last night and got away with the loot! Maybe he was watching that hamster spy movie with us last week.

I can't believe it's "the holiday season" already. Booooooooo. If you're looking for ideas for me, I like diamonds...and toilet paper.

By Fadra: This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
Link up your post here. .
Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Trick-or-Tweeeeeeeet!

2011-11-06T00:29:00.001-04:00

My 5 Angry Birds. The black and blue costumes I had to make...with a little TLC...and lots of hot glue!

I would take an organ from a skunk...

2011-04-21T17:18:00.000-04:00

"I would take an organ from a skunk...if it would save my child's life."

That's a response my friend posted on facebook today, in response to an MSNBC article entitled, "Killer's quest: Allow organ donation after execution." I have to say, that's my initial maternal response as well.

The request is from an Oregon prisoner who killed his wife and children a decade ago, by (according to the article) strangling the wife and 2yr old before stuffing their bodies in suitcases and throwing them in the ocean, and tying pillowcases full of rocks to the feet of his 3 and 4yr old and throwing them in icy December Oregon water. Alive.

Later on facebook, another mom brought up a valid point...would I want the heart of a killer in my child? Eventually, she came to the same conclusion...if it would save my child, yes.

How could you not?

Sitting there, dangling in front of you is the organ that will take the pain and sickness away from your child or relative. Your option would be for them to continue living --and eventually dying-- in a hospital, or accepting a donated organ from a prisoner and giving them back the life they deserve. Aren't organ donations kept anonymous anyway? (Clearly I don't know, and *knock on wood* won't have to find out, but I think I saw this on an episode of Grey's or something)

I do have to say, I don't like the way this particular prisoner is going about this. He's threatening to continue appeals and prolonging his execution for another 10 years if officials don't agree to let him donate his organs. But, if they do agree to it, he'll accept execution in 90 days...as a way to relieve his conscience.

That part pisses me off, actually. It's like negotiating with a child. Do what I want or I'm taking my ~~toys~~ organs and going back to my ~~room~~ cell.

I was reading the article thinking, again..."How could you not?" How could you, as a prison/state official NOT let these people donate their organs to the approximately 19 people who are dying in America each day, while waiting for an organ donation from a stroke or accident victim?!

And then I got to this paragraph: "Living prisoners may be allowed to donate organs, but it's decided on a case-by-case basis at the state and federal levels, officials say. Typically such donations are limited to immediate family members when theres a confirmed organ match, with the inmate's and recipient's families agreeing to foot the bill for all medical and security costs."

So there you have it, folks. It's all about the Benjamins.

If you're interested, the prisoner has a facebook page and op-ed article you can access through the article.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, MAMAS? Would you accept an organ from a prisoner?!

WW---My Mind's in the Gutter

2011-04-13T22:00:00.001-04:00

WW---Xray

2011-04-05T22:00:00.002-04:00

"Wow, I have a big brain!" ~Ashitoner

UBP11 with 5minutesformom.com

2011-04-01T08:51:00.000-04:00

'Cuz I can't pass up a party, y'all!

I'm Kate. And I'm surrounded by penises. Literally.

I have 5 sons and a husband.

I like to keep things kinda light around here, sharing the funny stuff mostly.

You're laughing with me, not at me, riiiiight?

You can learn a bit about my family and my world here.

I look forward to finding some new blogs to ~~stalk~~ peruse

and also some new tweeps to follow!

I'm @SurroundedbyP_s

I'll see you all real soon!

Flashback Friday---Kisses or Pinches?

2011-04-01T00:01:00.015-04:00

Here's a quick little snippet from St. Patrick's Day LAST year.

LukeyBaby(age 7) came downstairs wide-eyed this morning: "MOM! Do you know what Phoebe told me?! She said if you wear green today, you get a kiss (with the girls-have-cooties face); and if you don't, you get a pinch."

I giggled as I shielded my eyes from the blazing orange outfit he was wearing. After explaining the higher probability of getting pinched by all the boys in his class, he came out of his closet in head-to-toe camouflage.

Ashitoner (age 9) was then reminded of SPD and was on the hunt for some green. It was close to bus time so I entered his closet, threw him a pair of jeans, some (coincidentally) green underwear, and a blue shirt with green letters on it.

"That's not green!"

"Bud, you don't have to have a green shirt, just something with green on it."

"But what if one of the guys comes up behind me and pinches me cuz I have a blue shirt on."

"Well, (not my proudest parenting moment) pinch 'em back! And if they don't think it's enough green, you could always pull your pants down."

Picturing that phone call from the principal, I added the fine print: "That was not me giving you permission to pull your pants down, by the way!"

Mom: "Happy St. Patrick's Day, Jakester!"

Jakester (age 3--flashing back to freaking out last week when a mom dressed as Dr. Seuss): "It's Patrick's Day?!! Is he gonna be at my school?!"

I originally posted this on my "old" blog.

WW---No Exit

2011-03-29T22:00:00.001-04:00

1st VLOG EVERRR!

2011-03-29T11:57:00.000-04:00

Monday Mingle 3.28.11

Current questions {week of 3/28/11}:

1. What is your favorite song right now?

2. How good are you about using coupons at the grocery store?

3. Do you have a Smartphone? If so what are your top 3 games/apps?

Untitled from Kate McC on Vimeo.

YouTube Tuesday---Eat Your Vitamins!!

2011-03-29T00:01:00.001-04:00

For those of us who need encouragement to take our vitamins :D

Spring has Sprung??!

2011-03-28T00:01:00.000-04:00

I ~~pretend to~~ use my cell as an alarm clock. Usually, the kids digging in the cupboards for some grub wake me up first.

One morning recently, I was awoken by a text message.

From my son.

In his bed upstairs.

"Mom, I'm wicked sick. Can I stay home today?"

From my bed, I texted back: "Ash, it's a snow day."

And just like that, he was cured.

Miracles do happen.

Now for some I-wish-Spring-would-hurry-the-F-up-and-get-sprung-already-pics...

Icy treetops

Spring mud + 4wheeler = Muddy Boy

"Super"moon

Ready for baseball to start!

Such a good big bro

Come'on bud, let's go inside and warm up

"The Fish Say..."

2011-03-25T16:46:00.000-04:00

I found a video from the summer when we were looking at an aquarium in a mall when we in Ohio. Gradster wanted to show me what the fish say...notice his lips <3

EASIEST Kid-friendly Lunch EVERRR! Cheap, too!

2011-02-02T14:13:00.000-05:00

Like corn dogs? Try Corndog Muffins!! (I got this recipe from a group on Cafemom)

All you need is a pack of your favorite hotdogs and 2-3 boxes of Jiffy corn muffin mix.

Prepare mix as directed (add milk and egg) and stir in sliced hotdogs (note: cheese dogs might add some more flavor). Fill greased muffin tins 1/2 full. Bake 10-15 min. Add a veggie to the plate. Voila. Lunch!!

I was thinking maybe next time, I'd try adding the green beans INTO the mix. Then a friend said she always puts a can of corn in her cornbread every time she makes it as a sidedish.

Genius! Meat + veg + cornmeal = a whole meal in a muffin :)

My boys were VERY excited to eat lunch in the form of a "cuppycake." And even though Gradster was a little disappointed with the lack of sprinkles on his, I think he's on his fourth muffin.

These will be GREAT when baseball and soccer seasons kick in and we have to eat quickly on the run!!

What would you add to it?

Home OMG I'M IN LOVE WITH HER!!!

2011-01-25T01:07:00.005-05:00

"One day I'm gonna whistle?"

*gush* *gush* *swoon*

She makes my ovaries hurt lol

Where's the crystal ball when ya need one?!

2011-01-22T22:58:00.000-05:00

I'm struggling with some stuff right now. Have been for a while. I'm hoping if I attempt some sort of Bucket List that is broken up by in a month, in 6 month, in a year, in 5 year goals...that I can work through them and see where my heart of hearts is on several issues, including: where we live, schooling, taking a trip, having another child, money...life, etc.

But the only paper I have to write on is the back of the receipt from the grocery store tonight...and the only writing utensil is the lead from one of those push-down-the-eraser pencils...no, not the pencil itself...just the lead.

*sigh*

slaps forehead

2011-01-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

{Scene: A mother and her two sons, aged 8 & 10 are finishing up their lunch at a quiet restaurant on a snowy day. The only other patrons are a pair of elderly friends meeting for lunch}

OLDEST SON: "O.M.G. I'm soooooooooooooooo full!" *moaning*

MOTHER: "Shhhhhhhh! Please don't be rude, there are other customers!" *nodding in direction of the elderly ladies in the booth right behind him*

YOUNGER SON: *scolds his older brother loudly* "Yeah! Those old ladies are trying to enjoy their lunch! Geez."

MOTHER: *slaps forehead* "Check, please!"

WW-11 for my 10 on 1-11-11

2011-01-11T23:43:00.000-05:00

MY FIRST BABY...

THIS BABY...

TURNED 10 TODAY!

HE BECAME A BIG BROTHER AT 19 MONTHS

AND TOOK ON HIS ROLE AS THE BEST BIG BROTHER IN THE WORLD

HE'S A LOVER OF FUN, AND SILLINESS

AND A PLAYFUL SOUL WITH A CACKLE THAT COULD MELT THE HEART OF ANY

HE MELTS MINE EVERYDAY

HE'S MOM'S HELPER AND LOVES HIS LITTLE BROTHERS

HE'S GOT A MATURE SENSE OF HUMOR AND IS WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS

SCHOOL SUBJECTS CAME EASY TO HIM EARLY ON

SO EASY IN FACT THAT HE SKIPPED 2ND GRADE (Mama's gotta brag a bit)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

YOU CHANGED OUR LIVES FOREVER

AND EVERYDAY IS A GREAT ONE WITH YOU

WE LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH

2,012 before 2012

2011-01-10T21:52:00.000-05:00

I started a weight loss blog.

There are before pics.

*shudder* It ain't pretty.

I don't recommend going over there if you've just eaten a heavy meal...or want to eat in the next couple of hours. But, if you need a confidence boost, by all means..........

Oh, and I wanted to share a quick convo from the other night. Ready?

   HUSBAND: "I'm going to bed, could you please switch the laundry over before you come down?"

   ME: "Ummmmm. You're going to bed?"

   HUSBAND: "Mmhmm."

   ME: "You're going to bed and you want me to switch the laundry over before I come to bed?"

   HUSBAND: "Yeahhhh."

   ME: "You're going to bed and you want me to switch the laundry over before I come to bed...the laundry that is finished washing and just needs to be dried?"

   HUSBAND: "Yes."

   ME: "You're going to bed and you want me to switch the laundry over before I come to bed...the laundry that you are about to walk past as you go to bed?!"

   HUSBAND: *sigh* "Nevermind."

(Y'all know I still did it...I just wanted to give him a hard time cuz you KNOW that when men "do laundry," 98.65% of the contents of the overstuffed load is JUST.HIS.STUFF.)

What, you were expecting Santa??!?!

2011-01-09T12:02:00.001-05:00

My 4yr old had a doctor's appointment recently. We were at a specialist that he'd never met before, so the doctor was trying to make smalltalk.

DOCTOR: "How was your Thanksgiving?"

JAKESTER: "Good."

DOCTOR: "Did you eat lots of turkey?"

JAKESTER: "Mmhmm."

DOCTOR: "Do you know what's coming up?"

JAKESTER: shrugged

DOCTOR: "You don't know?! Who's the big guy coming to your house dressed in a red suit?"

JAKESTER: "Ummmmmmm...a lobster?"

(In his defense, he did have lobster on Thanksgiving...so maybe that's where that came from LOL)

We were 2 hours from home for the appointment, so we decided to make it a Mom & Jakester day.

He requested lunch at "Friendly-Fire." HUH?! Took me a minute to figure out Friendly's.

Then my sweet little innocent baby boy told our waitress that she talks like Lois from "Family Guy." Ummm, yeah...I don't think the older boys are watching Nickelodeon before bed anymore...naughties.

A couple weeks later, I had his first Parent/Teacher Conference. The teachers showed me a poster that they made the previous morning during circle time, in which they asked each child, "What makes you happy?" and wrote their replies on the poster.

Jakester's reply: Going to lunch at Friendly-Fire with my mom, she had buffalo chicken salad and I had chocolate milk.

(DISCLAIMER: He had hotdogs and macaroni, too, but I'm thinking chocolate milk was the highlight.)

I was gonna redo that bathroom anyway...

2011-01-06T18:26:00.000-05:00

I know I'm supposed to like, "embrace their creativity" ~~or some shit~~ but when their creativity causes them to use toothpaste and shaving cream to stick cardboard, maxipads, christmas paper, hot chocolate wrappers and pieces of the bathroom border (that they ripped off) to the side of the bathroom sink, I start to question that.

So, I did...question that. They're reply?!

"Cuz we're leaving messages for Perry the Platypus."

Photo from google images

The next day, the bathroom bandits struck again......... Yes, those are q-tips coming out his ears. And yes, I got my phone to take a pic of the little bugger before I scolded him. That's how I roll.

WW-Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2011-01-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

The Case of the Missing Laundry Detergent

2011-01-03T23:11:00.000-05:00

I have 5 boys. You know that. You have kids, too. You also know that kids = laundry. 5 kids = a mountain range of laundry that make the Rockies look like an anthill. *sigh* I wish that was an exaggeration.

It all started about 3 weeks ago. I'd run to town for a quick grocery trip and grab a jug of laundry detergent. I would ~~of course, procrastinate~~ accidently forget to do the laundry once I got home, so I set the jug on the washer.

When I finally got a chance to do some laundry, the jug was almost empty. What the...? Didn't I just buy that ~~like 72 hours ago?~~??!

Husband is usually good about doing ~~his own laundry when he's out of jeans~~ a load or two here and there, so maybe it was him, I thought...but the musty smell coming from the washer told me otherwise.

Fastforward another day or two and I grabbed another jug at the store.

Repeat.

Where the flip is all the laundry detergent going?! I asked the inhabitants of my house.

No answer.

I again bought laundry detergent at the store and this time...just to help prove my sanity...I asked my husband for "help" bringing in the groceries. He set the jug on the washer.

The next morning I get up and go to start a load of laundry. Empty.

Arrrrrrrrghhhhhh!

So I dial my husband. "Husband, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to really...think...about...the answer...before you give it to me...Did I or did I not just buy a gawd dayum jug of laundry detergent?!"

Husband, point 2 seconds later: "Uhhhhh, I don't know, did you?"

FML!

I campaigned for my sanity for a day or two (I even used the sitter as a ~~witness~~ sounding board, joking the kids were probably dumping it down a heating duct or something) and sooner or later the ~~laundry~~ issue was once again forgotten for a couple weeks.

Until yesterday.

Husband started doing some after-dinner dishes, so I decided to conquer a laundry mountain or two. I donned my ipod and tuned the ~~crazies~~ kids out and tuned Adam Lambert and The Black Eyed Peas in...Imma be be be be...doing laundry.

Soon, the kids were running amok and I was dodging icy stares from ~~the dishwasher~~ my husband, so we tried to settle them into the living room for a quick game before bed.

But someone was missing.

*slam* goes the washing machine lid.

"Grady, what are you doing?!"

3 yr old: "Ummmmmm, nuffing." And he joined us in the living room.

Upon sending the kids in to brush teeth 15 or so minutes later, they screamed, "Bubbles!! woohoo, bubbles!"

What the........*crickets* Who the f is Bubbles?!

Well, let me tell you. Bubbles is the result of a 3 year old dumping numerous bottles of laundry detergent into the washing machine and once spin cycle occurs, bubbles appear.......in every.single. toilet, sink, tub, shower, and drain in our house.

Mystery solved.

And the toilets took a little less elbow grease to clean this a.m. :)

NEW YEAR, reNEWed ME

2011-01-01T23:32:00.000-05:00

I was feelin' a little ~~fat~~ old (hence the reNEWed ME) to go out for New Year's Eve, so we decided to rock out at home with My Many Men.

An attempt at a group pic...

Decorations were hung,

and of course, there was snackage...apple nachos, yum!

Mom made us pose for pics in our ~~pajamas~~ attire.

Here's Mr. Fever......he was in bed early, but got up just in time to see the ball drop.

Play that funky music...

They loved it!

But our "tupid" glasses wouldn't stay on...

So we all got naked and drank champagne!

JUST KIDDING...it was only Sprite, I swear!

Oh, Waiter!

We hope your 2011 is grand!

November 1st...

2010-11-07T20:51:00.000-05:00

November 1st. That was the day I ~~lied to myself~~ vowed to start using my gym membership for something other than soaking up artificial UV rays, now that all the kids are in school.

YESSSS! ALL of them. The 3 littles go M-Th 8:30-2:30!!! Ahhhhhhh. *ahem* Where was I? Oh, right.

November 1st at 12:01a.m., I was to finish ~~ransacking~~ inspecting all 5 bags of Halloween candy and throw away the ~~evidence~~ wrappers of my final attack on all things Hershey's and begin my new quest to find the skinny girl inside me...you know, the one begging for chocolate. Beotch.

The plan: to drop the 3 littles off at school at 8:30a.m. and be on the treadmill by 9, four days a week. And I did go...November 2nd. Lazy beotch.

It's amazing how easily I could talk myself out of going. Like that Monday, Gradster had a hard time letting me leave him at school, so I told myself, "you should be close by...not 25min away at the gym," so I went home and went back to bed (with my phone on the pillow of course hehe).
I went to the gym Tuesday. What? I did. Wipe that look off your face. I treaded on the ole mill for 45min. Well, it's a start.
Then Wednesday came and I had to go 45min in the opposite direction to get a shot in the bahookie...I had hoped it would deflate a little...no such luck.
Thursday, hubby was home from work. I told him to change and we'd go to the gym together cuz I can bring a guest. He laughed in my face and turned the TV up louder. I'm kidding. He didn't do that, but he rarely has a day off so he just wanted to veg a bit. Plus, it gave me an excuse, not to go cuz his unsupporting ass wouldn't go with me, so why should I go right? Guess I showed him. Pffffffffffffft.

So.

November 8th.

November 8th, I'll start going to the gym 4 days a week.

*gulp*

I hope.

Here's our Halloween Happy Meal =)

When A Farmer Life Gives You Haybales...

2010-09-14T22:35:00.000-04:00

It's All Fun and Games...

2010-09-09T16:07:00.000-04:00

It's all fun & games...

'til your kid announces:

"I peed when you tickled me!"

...and he was sitting on your back.

;-/

WW- Objects in the Rearview Mirror...

2010-08-31T23:27:00.000-04:00

$9.99 Suckah!

2010-08-31T09:43:00.000-04:00

Scene: The corner booth of a Friendly's restaurant. A mom and dad have taken their toddler children out for lunch on the older boys' first day of school. The mom wrestles silverware away from one toddler while another makes faces at a nearby tables' baby, and the dad picks up the scattered courtesy crayons and places them back in their boxes before the meal arrives.

TODDLER #3: (picks up a box of crayons, places it on his ear pretending it's a cell phone and says...) "$9.99 Suckah!"

End Act 1, Scene 1.

Scene 2 came later when we were at Old Navy and I asked Jakester, "Do you want this backpack, honey? It's only $4.99..."

Any guesses what his reply was?!

WW--Insane in the membrane

2010-08-25T03:38:00.000-04:00

1 Trip.

5 Boys.

7 States.

2,148.1 Miles.

Alone.

Tell me you wouldn't have considered pulling off this exit either.

Lots more pics and posts from our trip coming your way!! :)

In the meantime, there's a few tweets to peruse right over there ------>

"See" you tomorrow!

Breathes Deeply into Paper Bag

2010-08-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

24 more days 'til school! woot! woot! *mashed potato dance*

But first...

A 13hour drive with 5 boys age 9, 8, 4, 3 & 3 with stops planned at hour 6 and hour 10, adding another 3+ hours...not including the 5,234 ~~stops on the side of the road to pee out the van door~~ potty breaks. I think I'll just pack them some wide-mouth gatorade bottles to "go" in. Hmmmmmm...

Packing. Pfffffffft.

I've done none. Zip. Zilch. Zero...except the imaginary packing I see myself doing everyday...until I open my google reader...

And the laundry! Oh, the laundry! Definitely need to be climbing the peak of that mountain tonight...

Where are we going? Ohio. To visit my only sister, her husband, and my delicious baby nephew:

who sadly can no longer fit in a bowl, as he'll be turning ONE next week, on my son LukeyBaby's 8th birthday. So we're going to help them ~~kid-proof their house~~ celebrate.

At this moment, we'll be stopping at a RR museum and the Little League museum on the way out, taking in some Cleveland sites, exploring the area around Lake Erie, and will hit up Niagara Falls and the New York State Musuem before ~~invading~~ visiting my Dad in Boston.

ALSO...at this moment...my husband has to work and I'm flying solo.

*breathes deeply into a paper bag*

We're contemplating him flying out to join us for the return trip home from Niagara Falls on, but wondering if it's all worth spending the $$ vs. staying home and making some...idk.

And do you know how ~~many bills I'm avoiding paying so we can go on this trip?~~ much school shopping I've done...just as much laundry as I've done. 0. Not that they need a lot besides shoes, but all five of them should *knocks on wood* be going to school this fall (I'll get my notification letter about the Twinkies admittance when we return).

I know, I know...quit'yer bitchin' and go do some laundry, woman!

Alright, I'm going. Simmer down.

It Looks Like a...Well, You Know

2010-08-05T08:30:00.000-04:00

Well, come on, Penis IS in my blog title afterall...and I see a lot, many times a day (don't worry, honey, they ALL belong to your spawn)...but never like this...

It Looks Like a...Well, You Know

This link brings you to a slideshow on Cosmopolitan.com featuring pics of d!cks created by Mother Nature herself.

WW-Overachiever

2010-08-03T22:25:00.000-04:00

There's an overachiever in every crowd. :)

This post is linked to Wordless Wednesday...find more at 5minutesformom.com

Alpacas, Airplanes, & Automobiles

2010-08-03T08:30:00.000-04:00

My friend texted me Sunday, asking for some *free* family fun ideas. I started filling up her inbox with some ideas then did a quick search of some community calendars and found out it was Open Farm Day 2010. So she packed up her kiddos and went to visit some farm animals. And we did the same...kinda.

The only participating farm in our town was an Alpaca farm. But since we hadn't yet gotten a chance to visit, I thought, why not? Ummm, how about 90 degree weather and an electrical fence that they forget to tell you about until AFTER you touch it, for starters?! Anywhooo...here are some pics.

Dude, you ugly.

You're kinda cute.

But you, sir, need an orthodontist.

This is one of my fav pics of the summer.

Since that took all of seven or eight minutes...I had heard on the radio about an air show at a transportation museum we'd never been to (it was on the imaginary summer bucket list floating in my head), down on the ocean. Thinking it might be cooler down on the coast (ugh, not that day), we grabbed some snacks, juiceboxes, and sunglasses and enjoyed the air conditioned ride down to the museum.

My 2nd fav pic of the summer...We sat in the hanger and watched...

...as some of these...

...did lots of this...mostly upside down, round and round,
and straight up before the engine failed and they'd restart
it on the trip down again. *gulp* They must LOVE what they do!

"Look, he's makin' 'moke, Mama!"

Black Hawk helicopter

My Many Men

Jakester could NOT wait to get in the front of that thing...

Funny license plate!

They just figured out what the license plate meant lmao

Sweet ride!

Ummm...if anyone asks, that is not my kid jumping up to touch a wheel, m'kay?!

REAL FEATHERS? Tell me a MAN didn't come up with that idea!? Pfffft.

TRAIN!! "Mom, I want one of these for my birthday!" "Oh, okay, sure buddy!"
"Me, too!" "Me, four!"

"Mama, let's check this out...one...two...three...four...five..."
at EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.

My own little FRONTIERVILLE pioneers *grin*

It's a good look, no?

Our musical entertainment on the trip home...
Gradster and his flutey tooty straw.

I was even stopped by a Kindergarten teacher who had been sitting behind us in the hanger (I KNEW I felt eyes on us). She was in the museum after the wagon exhibit and complimented the boys on being so well behaved and said she heard me say some phrases ~~...thankfully not the naughty ones heh...~~ (like, I'm going to help you, please) that she was going to be using with her kindergartners. That was kind of nice...but reminds me that I need to be particularly careful of what I say in public. We're always being watched.

Ten.

2010-08-02T08:30:00.000-04:00

Ten is the number of days we had of summer vacation before our first (and *knocks on wood* only) serious injury, trip to the Emergency Room, and broken bone.

Courtesy of LukeyBaby, who took a digger on his bicycle and caught the handlebars in the collarbone.

He had a couple weeks of pain, but was a trooper!

And is now the proud owner of a matching set of broken collarbones...

June 2010 Age 7, fell off bike

October 31st, 2004 Age 2, fell off bunkbed

And so, for Halloween that year, instead of an "army soldier", LukeyBaby was an "injured army soldier."

He's kinda graceful, like his ~~mama~~ Dad. *grin*

Summer Fun--Botanical Gardens

2010-07-30T08:30:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I heard of a new Children's Garden opening about 1.5hrs from us. Opening day activities included free admission, special events like facepainting and storytelling, a ribbon-cutting ceremony featuring the governor's wife and a U.S. Senator, and the opportunity to explore a part of our state we had not been to before as a family.

They had me at free admission.

I made sure we arrived WELL after the ribbon-cutting ceremony...I didn't really think the governor's wife nor the senator would appreciate my many men chasing frogs and chickens while they were trying to address the audience (*ahem* You're welcome, Mrs. Baldacci!).

There was no way that I could take pictures of the many BEAUTIFUL and creative parts of the gardens...especially with 5 kids, a borrowed camera, and zero adult backup...I had one of those, "Hey, it's free, if y'all go crazy, I'll just leave and I'm not out any money" moments. Luckily for ~~them~~ me, there was plenty to see and do, and lots of kodak moments.

The grounds, brickwork and buildings were absolutely STUNNING! Many of the exhibits are based on Maine children's literature classics, such as Robert McCloskey's "Blueberries for Sal," which was a favorite of mine as a young girl...I remember coloring in the pages, as they only came in black/white.

The Lawn Maze

"I AM looking at you, Mama!"

The thermometer in front of them read 100 degrees. blech.

Ummm...I think we were being watched...

Teamwork!

I'd take a daisy over a rose anyday :)

What has two thumbs, a dinosaur tattoo, and has to pee?
This guy.

Whale spray...a great way to cool off!

Ashitoner

Gavster

LukeyBaby

Gradster, who had just fallen down and refused to smile for
or even look at the camera. Punk.

Jakester

Stump Jump: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Checking out the bear cave.

CLOSING SHOTS: JUST AFTER I SCOLDED THE ONE IN THE SLING (hence the non-existent smiley face) AND ANNOUNCED WE WERE LEAVING...

"Smile. No really, smile. Yes, we're going home after this picture,
but you still have to smile. So, SMILE."

"No, not make bear noises, S-M-I-L-E."

"Seriously, I'd like to send a picture to your great grandparents."

"Ummm, thanks for the effort...pssssssh."

"Yeah, I'm ready to go now, too. Mama needs a caramel frappe, STAT."

Easy Recipe (Trust me, if it's not easy, I don't cook it!)

2010-07-29T06:30:00.000-04:00

I saw this recipe in the casserole group at Cafemom

It is DELICIOUS!!!

ALL my boys had seconds and my oldest even said it's his new favorite food..."even better than tacos!"...which is HUGE because those have been his fav since Kindergarten :-O

Chicken, Broccoli & Ravioli Alfredo

2 lbs pre-packaged 4-cheese ravioli, cooked and drained
2 cups frozen broccoli florets, defrosted
1-1/2 cups pre-cooked chicken strips, diced
1 jar alfredo sauce
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup mozzarella cheese,
divided 1/3 cup Parmesan cheese
1 tbsp butter

Preheat oven to 350 F degrees. Coat the bottom of a 9×13 glass baking dish with a thin layer of alfredo sauce. In a medium bowl, mix the ravioli, broccoli, chicken, garlic, alfredo sauce, 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese until combined. (Be careful not to mix too hard that you tear the ravioli.)Place mixture into baking dish and top with 1/2 cup mozzarella and parmesan cheese.Cut the butter into small pieces and scatter on top of the cheese. Bake for 20 minutes or until cheese is hot and bubbly. Set to broil for additional 5 minutes if you want it more toasty!

CHANGES I MADE: I used fresh broccoli and boiled it for a couple min before stirring it in, didn't measure it out, nor did I measure the chicken which I grilled and diced. I used 2 jars of alfredo, and probably more mozzarella and parmesan than the surgeon general would allow without issuing a warning first. Also, I left out the garlic (but they make garlic alfredo sauce if that's your thing) and I forgot the butter (my bad).

I have a friend who's going to try it with shrimp instead...DEFINITELY gonna have to add that to the menu this week!

They crack me up

2010-07-28T06:30:00.000-04:00

These were some of my facebook statuses from July...and just in case FB ever gasp crashes...I wanted to post them here.

ASHITONER: "I can't remember what they make at that place."
ME: "what place? Moss? don't they make tarps or something?"
LUKEYBABY: "No, I'm pretty sure it's applesauce."
(Mott's bahahaha)

ALPACA FARM TOUR GUIDE: "Have you ever been around alpacas before?"

5 BOYS & I: "No."

GUIDE: "Don't worry, they won't spit at you, they just spit at each other."
ME: "Oh, just like you, boys!"
:D

JAKESTER: "Mommy, NOW are you setting the 'puter up for me?"
ME: "Not yet, buddy...I'm trying to find fun stuff for us to do when we go visit Auntie Cori...don't you want to go to a zoo and ride on a bus and the animals all come up and you feed them?"
JAKESTER: shakes head NO!
ME: "Well, what do you want to do at Auntie Cori's house?"
JAKESTER: "Play the computer."

ME: "Is it weird that I'm actually kinda excited for this trip to Ohio?"
HUSBAND: "I don't think I'd use the word weird...psycho maybe, but not weird."

ME: "The dog killed a skunk out back last night, that's why it smelled so bad."
HUSBAND: "How do the skunks keep getting in the 6 foot fence?"
ME: "Idk, want me to get out the ouiji board and ask him?"

Gradster saw the Frontierville bear on the loading screen. "Mommy, you see that bear?" puts his hands up like the bears paws :That bear says wait, wait for me in that car!"

4th of July: had a great two days with amazing friends and family. The boys did so great waiting for and then watching the "boom boom pow" fireworks...we were even complimented on how well behaved they were...only to have Gradster yell out "Oh my Dawd" and "Holy twap" when everyone around us was silently watching the fireworks. ♥

Delete...delete...delete...Friends don't let friends drink and facebook. That is all.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can't load FrontierVille !!! What am I gonna do now?????? Oh. Laundry.

Went 2 store 4 sweet tea then figured if im gonna have calories, I might as well get some twisteds but was undecided til i saw TWISTED SWEET TEA! wipes drool

Jakester had his routinely Monday morning panic attack...as soon as the garbage truck hooks onto the dumpster he screams and cries cuz he thinks they're taking "his" dumpster away! lol

You know that wrestling move, where the guy's laying on the mat and the other wrestler climbs up on the ropes and jumps on his groin? Well, Gradster was on the armrest and just did that move on his daddy who was napping on the couch. No vasectomy needed :D

That's one way to keep an eye on them!

2010-07-27T06:30:00.000-04:00

Me: "Honey, can you keep an eye on the kids for a minute, I have to go switch the laundry around."

Husband: "How'm I supposed to do that AND mow the lawn?"

Me: "IDK, you'll figure something out, I'm sure."

Upon returning, this is what I found...

Creative, no?

My Many Men & Me

2010-07-26T08:49:00.000-04:00

We were at Nana & Papa's for the Twinkie's 3rd Bday partayyy last week (bday post soon!) and decided to squat for a quick family pic. This was the best one...or I guess I should say...the only one where someone was swatting at mosquitoes or trying to escape :)

"Roger that."

2010-07-23T09:30:00.000-04:00

Jakester (into a pretend walkie talkie): "Roger that."

Gradster (age 2.5): "I"m not Roger. I'm Grady!"

Me: "Grady honey, he's not calling you Roger, he's saying Roger, like Over or 10-4, ok?"

Gradster: "Okay, Mommy."

Jakester (age 3.5): "Yup, Roger that."

Gradster: "STOP CALLING ME ROGER!"

I was sitting between the two of them on the couch and was busted up laughing. They were both so mad at me, but I could not stop :) This went on for the rest of the afternoon...I still don't think they even know anyone NAMED Roger LMAO

In the words of Reba, "What do you say?"

2010-07-22T09:30:00.000-04:00

I absolutely love the nearest (to us) McDonald's with a Playplace. What's not to love? ~~besides the fact that 7 out of 10 times, my kids leave there with pink-eye~~ I get to sit in a cool, air-conditioned space sipping my caramel frappe and don't have to listen to the kids fighting over the same toy or the video game remote or who's turn it is to ride the 4-wheeler and why the other one has to *gasp* "ride his lame bike while waiting his turn to ride the 4-wheeler" which leads into: "why didn't we buy two 4-wheelers" and eventually into: "why was I even born?"

Nope, at McDonald's it's all peace and quiet...minus the screams of dozens of germy kids racing after each other and the screech of their elbow skin peeling off as they slide down the slide. I know that we're going to be there for a minimum of an hour, and I'm okay with that. To sit in a chair without any little people sitting ON me. I can just sit, and sip my frappe, and dip my french fries in that teeny little cup of delicious sweet'n'sour sauce and watch the ~~world~~ kids go by in peace. *wipes drool*

I've yet to bring my laptop in and read a few blogs or harvest some crops using the free wi-fi served daily. I'm working up to it. The laptop was even in it's bag IN the car last time, but at the last minute, a guilty little angel fluttered onto my shoulder and I left it in the car. The angel told me I didn't want to be "that" mom...little does she know...

But really, I saw my oldest's eyes light up the second he saw the laptop bag in the car. His little ~~angel~~ devil told him he'd get: a trip to McDonald's, a frappe, playing in the playplace, AND get to log onto OurWorld?! Score. *Ahem*...not. So I pretty much deduced that bringing a laptop to McD's would be the same as trying to use it during daylight hours at home...with 3-5 little ~~devils~~ angels tapping me on the shoulder wanting their turn to use it. Nah, I think I'm good with just letting them race their little hearts out for a couple hours ~~and napping on the car ride home~~.

So good, in fact, that I thought to myself, "Self, why don't we try out a new McDonald's with a (looks like from the outside) bigger Playplace?" And lemme just say, if it was that little angel who put that idea in my head, the next time I see her, I'm going to squash her ass like the pesky little mosquito she has become.

As we roll up to the new location, I already felt dread. {Heed that feeling, Future Me, and DRIVE THRU next time!} There were no parking spots on the same side as the building's entrance. My many men and myself would be dodging drive-thru traffic to get inside. "Deep breath, woman," my angel said to me, "you can do this." Bitch.

Once inside, our new venture was already met with groans from the peanut gallery. The playplace was NOT in fact bigger than our "usual" spot...it was atleast 3 times smaller. Fanfreakintastic. And when we finally ordered and turned to sit, there were no tables in the play area, we'd have to sit in the regular dining room. More groans (mostly by me that time). We sat and divvied out food and drink, only to spy a family leaving the playplace, so we regrouped the food onto the tray and entered.

Within seconds, they were in stocking feet and off and running...their lukewarm semi-nutritious-if-they-had-actually-OPENED-the-apples-that-is meals were long forgotten. There was a new area to explore: an under age 3 area with some musical instruments and a piano slide that made noise when they slid down. It was pretty cute, for the littles, anyway.

The the two bigs, on the other hand, not so impressed. They went down the ONE big kid slide ONCE...and had nothing else to do, except sit across from me eyeing my frappe and I could see the "why were we even born" conversation brewing in their sweet little rolling eyes.

To my left, I saw "that" mom...the one barely checked into her little girl who was running wildly barefoot up the piano slide because searching youtube for the perfect video to place on her facebook page was so much more important. {Note to Future Me: no laptop at McD's...I think...}

Behind her was a family of 4 who's oldest boy had been playing on a built-in and provided by McDonald's video game screen/table their entire visit. My judgemental mind: How delightful...you bring your overweight kid to fatty McD's and instead of having him burn a few calories running up the slide the wrong way, he's playing a video game...that McDonald's provided! At least my kids aren't playing video games here...

And it was as if my kids were reading my thought bubbles because next thing I knew, I heard a tremendously high pitched squeak that would have made dogs howl. What the... Oh, it was just my kid pedaling on the only other video game in the room that was a bicycle race game that you had to pedal to make it go. Sure, he can pedal THAT bike, but not his own at home?! Maybe I can squeeze enough grease out of this cheeseburger to lube up those pedals...

Just as the Call of the Wild calls to...well...the wild...that squeaking called to the rest of my boys. All five of them, in their stocking feet wanted on that god-forsaken bicycle game N.O.W. And there would be no good manners used in their motives to get on it. When the game would freeze and one of them would get sick of waiting for it to reload, they'd move on and one or two of the other ~~vultures~~ boys would wrestle their way onto the seat and pedal those squeaky pedals like there was a caramel frappe waiting for them at the finish line (if there was, I might have tolerated the noise and fighting, btw).

But alas, there wasn't a frappe in sight, and my own was drained. I tried, I honestly tried...I tried encouraging them to ask for a turn from their brother politely, I tried giving them each "one more race," or one more minute, I tried picking up the refusing-to-cooperate-one and talked him into asking for a turn and waiting another minute, while I tried getting down to the other one's level and talking him into giving up the bike for a minute. I tried, damnit. But nothing worked.

I looked around at the now cold, barely touched food, the annoyed parents trying to usher their kids away from the bike line which had since become a wrestling match, and declared "We're leaving. We came, we saw, we fought, we tried, we're outta here."

Cue the tears, refusing screams, tantrums, and throwing self onto the floor. The kids even cried a little bit themselves...

I rushed to the shoe rack to grab the shoes for the ~~heathens~~ toddlers needing my assistance, trailed by one of them grabbing my leg and yelling, "No, don't make us leave!" Back at the bike, I put shoes on one of the crying/wrestling ones and turned to mash them onto another's feet, only to turn back and find the first had taken his off in protest.

Which leads me to my post title..."What do you say...in a moment like this?" When you're the other parent on the outside looking in at this woman who you've never seen before, who seemingly does not have her kids under control, and probably isn't fit to be a mom...not nearly as fit as "that" mom posting about "that noisy family" on her facebook status.

Lucky for the onlookers, noone said anything, and they all averted eye contact--lest their heads be dipped in sweet'n'sour and washed down with frappe.

Ok, Ok, I'm kidding about that last part. The truth was, I was mortified! I can't even remember the last time I felt I had no control over my kids, if ever...not in a public situation such as this. What those parents must have thought of me...of us! Pfffffffffft. I know what I would have been thinking! {To Future Me: just remember, it might be another mom's first time dealing with this situation also if you see it sometime...}

So I did what any well-medicated Mom would do. I emptied the trays in the trash, calmly wiped down the table, shoved the shoes in my purse, announced "I'm leaving, you can come with me if you want to, or you can go home with another family!" (the other parents probably would have helped them all with their shoes and carried them out to my car for me at that point...and gave me gas money to boot LOL). I scooped up the most ornery child of mine, and left the 1/3-of-a-Playplace-and-FYI-adding-2-video-games-doesn't-make-up-the-other-2/3rds-m'kay?! The rest of my little ~~ducklings~~ darlings followed behind...still protesting.

And never again will I betray my beloved close-to-us McDonald's with a Playplace (and NO video games).

*Lesson learned*

If you liked it, then you should've put a thing on it! HA!

2010-07-21T12:54:00.000-04:00

This is amazing :)

Where my Motha-Fathers at?

2010-05-21T22:33:00.000-04:00

Love Love LOVE this...I think Motha-Fathers might be my new default swear word.

Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes. ~Unknown

2010-05-20T14:21:00.000-04:00

Back in February, I found a campground a couple hours away that was holding a BOGO offer. So, I booked us a cabin (minus kitchen and bathroom) for a couple nights thinking it'd be a good way to get our feet wet and see if camping is an activity we'd be partaking in often.

My husband had his doubts, I think...I am after all the same ~~crazy lady~~ imaginative one who purchased a 12-man 4 room tent while pregnant with the twins, thinking "I could put a playpen in 3 of the rooms." ~~Dumbass.~~ The tent still sits in its' box for "someday, maybe."

The cabin was a good idea...I figured we'd need a structure in which to lock all the crazies in at night :) There were two sets of bunkbeds in one room and a double bed in another. I had hoped that the crib-sleeping littles would double up with the bigs (preferably on the bottom bunks!). Instead, I spooned 3 toddlers for two nights. It was heavenly. Sweaty, but heavenly.

The weekend went surprisingly smooth. The older two enjoyed freedom of riding their bikes to the playground and basketball court while the littles had room to roam as well.

We spent an afternoon at the beach trying to fly ~~super-expensive~~ 2-for-$1 kites and ended up getting only 1 up out of 8. The flyer of that kite was one of the 2yr olds. He held on to it for a good 45 minutes, maybe more. He'd hold it in one hand and kneel down to dig sand with the other. It was the funniest thing. Every few minutes we'd yell, "Pull it up, buddy!" and he'd tug the string just enough to keep the kite flying.

Were the other 4 boys jealous? Ohhhhhh, noooooooo. They were too busy splashing in the ocean. Mmmhmm. Any other human being would need a survival suit to get in that water, but not my boys, no sir. I had even dressed them in denim shorts to deter them from getting wet above the ankles in the mid-May 50-degree water. My bad.

Later, when we were driving back to our campsite, our 3yr old asked, "Where's our website? Is that our website?" :D

My dad and stepmom took a ride up on their motorcycle. She wore a dew rag for the the trip and the boys wanted to know why she was dressed like a pirate. The twins were much less shy with their pirate-grammie, so she says she'll be wearing it more.

Our last night there, my husband splurged a little and bought me a lobstahhh. YUM. The boys were quite interested in it and pushed my soon-to-be-boiled dinner around on the deck like a racecar. Brats. Being the only one in the family that likes lobster, it's an affordable treat a couple times a summer. Can't imagine if they all liked it!! I made sure to give 'em the tough meat when they asked for a bite so hopefully it'll remain an affordable treat *evil laughter*

All in all, it was a great little trip away. I will say, being surrounded by penises made the walk to the ~~nearest tree~~ restrooms bearable *grins*

Day 1, Hour 1...

2010-04-27T12:26:00.000-04:00

...of potty-training twins...

So far, they've worn them as hats, raced them around the living room floor, and sat on them...ON the couch.

UPDATE: Gavin peepeed in his!!! Then Grady dumped it in his own and tried to take cred. Fabulous.

That figures...

2010-04-27T11:54:00.000-04:00

...I decided to get back into blogging just in time for spring vacation from school! With all the playgrounds, museum, and baseball we did, who the heck had time?! *cough* not me *cough*

My 5...plus an extra random :)

4 seats and 5 booties :-/

We're ready to see the dinosaur skull, mama!

Goofy grins and sharp new uniforms, woot!

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

2010-04-11T00:30:00.000-04:00

I've linked up to 5 Minutes for Mom's UBP...have you?! I'm honestly excited to win any of the prizes, as I never have before. I just completed a re-vamp of my blog tonight, and you may click "My World" above to learn a bit about me, or check out some "old" posts here.

Thanks for stopping by, and I'm excited to "meet" many of you!

Starting Anew...

2010-04-10T22:22:00.000-04:00

I've decided the whole monkey theme isn't really working out...this title suits me much better these days! And since I've been MIA for a year or so, what better time than now to start anew?!
I'm working on my first "real" post, but if you'd like to learn a bit about me now, please click HERE.

To see some recent family pics, check out 2009 in photos, and read some older posts from the old blog, please click HERE.

Oh, and I just started a twitter account. Never thought I'd see the day, but if you'd like me to follow you, leave a link in the comments.

THANK YOU! and "see" you sooooooooooooon!!