Apparently, My 5yr old Loves Weed.

5YR OLD (playing xbox): "Yay, weed! Those were flowers but all the rest is weed."

ME to 12YR OLD: "Is he serious?"

5YR OLD: "I love weed."

ME to 12YR OLD: "WHAT?! Why is he saying that?!!?! Is there really weed on that game?!"

5YR OLD: "Weed is so awesome. I've got all the weed in the world!"

ME: "12YO! OMG! 5YO! GET OFF THAT GAME!"

12YR OLD: "What, why?!"

5YR OLD: "Weed, weed, weed. I'm harvesting my weed."

ME: "!!!!!! *points*"

12YR OLD: "MOM! He's playing Minecraft. It's WHEAT."

ME: "Oh. Carry on."

Goats slay me.

Just because I can't get enough of these goats...and my kid just shared this on fb...

The one where I scar my kid for life...

I'm a horrible mother. I may have scarred my kid for like, a whole hour life.

In my defense.........

I hate going to the orthodontist with 4 extra kids in tow. And since it IS still summer vacation 'round these parts...that's what I and the receptionist suffered through did today.

2 hours before everyone has been getting up on their own in the morning.

With an hour drive to get there.

I know.

Also in my defense 

(I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot today)

I didn't bring the flippin' dinosaur toys...they were already there! 

Provided by satan the practice.

There were enough to go around...but my 

do-I-seriously-have-to-share-this-freakin-dino-with-him-I've-been-sharing-my-shit-all-summer? 

spawn children found ways to mess that up too.

There was: 

roaring.

And fighting

(in the form of pushing each other--dino--off the wooden comment box)

Dying and eating the flesh of others 

(the dinos, not the kids...this time).

Shooshing. Lots and lots of shooshing

(by me).

And there was "pooping out of eggs."

Whattya want from me? They saw their dog "poop out" puppies one day, and have yet to ask where babies come from for realz. Hopefully it'll come up before they are fathers older. 

If not? meh.

At least they got the egg part right.

(Thanks Dino Dan!)

Anywho. The one joy I can take away from these orthodontist visits...

besides, y'know...straight teeth and such...

is when they put one of these doohickeys:

into here:

leaving your kid looking all like one of these:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I am telling y'all, there is no greater joy.

I took a picture of him (hence the scarring for life),

which he L'd his AO when he showed his Dad at dinner...

but can Mom go making a side-by-side collage of the aforementioned pic and those Sing-a-ma-jigs?

Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

Well, yes, actually, she did can, but he was all traumatized that I had put it on facebook already.

*cough* almost did. *cough*

And since I don't need to bring 4 kids to wait in a therapist's waiting room 

a therapy bill,

I won't post it here either.

:(

But I will snag one from google images of someone else's kid who probably cried for days  hates his mom  married his therapist cuz it was cheaper than paying for 50 min each week 

forgot all about this pic...

No children were harmed in the publishing of this photo. Well, not at my house anyway.

So, that was my morning before 11am.

It wasn't all bad though, while at the orthodontist's...

I did get to sit on Kevin Costner's face.

No actors were harmed in the taking of this photo unless you count in my dreams.

Spring has Sprung??!

I pretend to use my cell as an alarm clock.  Usually, the kids digging in the cupboards for some grub wake me up first.

One morning recently, I was awoken by a text message.

From my son.

In his bed upstairs.

"Mom, I'm wicked sick. Can I stay home today?"

From my bed, I texted back:  "Ash, it's a snow day."

And just like that, he was cured.

Miracles do happen.

Now for some I-wish-Spring-would-hurry-the-F-up-and-get-sprung-already-pics...

Icy treetops

Spring mud + 4wheeler = Muddy Boy

"Super"moon

Ready for baseball to start!

Such a good big bro

Come'on bud, let's go inside and warm up

<3

*slaps forehead*

{Scene: A mother and her two sons, aged 8 & 10 are finishing up their lunch at a quiet restaurant on a snowy day. The only other patrons are a pair of elderly friends meeting for lunch}

     OLDEST SON: "O.M.G. I'm soooooooooooooooo full!" *moaning*

     MOTHER:  "Shhhhhhhh!  Please don't be rude, there are other customers!" *nodding in direction of the elderly ladies in the booth right behind him*

     YOUNGER SON:  *scolds his older brother loudly* "Yeah!  Those old ladies are trying to enjoy their lunch! Geez."

     MOTHER:  *slaps forehead*  "Check, please!"

WW-11 for my 10 on 1-11-11

MY FIRST BABY...

THIS BABY...

TURNED 10 TODAY! 

HE BECAME A BIG BROTHER AT 19 MONTHS

AND TOOK ON HIS ROLE AS THE BEST BIG BROTHER IN THE WORLD

HE'S A LOVER OF FUN, AND SILLINESS

AND A PLAYFUL SOUL WITH A CACKLE THAT COULD MELT THE HEART OF ANY

HE MELTS MINE EVERYDAY

HE'S MOM'S HELPER AND LOVES HIS LITTLE BROTHERS

HE'S GOT A MATURE SENSE OF HUMOR AND IS WISE BEYOND HIS YEARS

SCHOOL SUBJECTS CAME EASY TO HIM EARLY ON

SO EASY IN FACT THAT HE SKIPPED 2ND GRADE (Mama's gotta brag a bit)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!

YOU CHANGED OUR LIVES FOREVER

AND EVERYDAY IS A GREAT ONE WITH YOU

WE LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH

<3