Random Acts of...Shut the Hell UP!

Walking into Hannaford one day, a lady yells to me: "Grab that cart!" and points to one behind me. 

I reply: "I don't need a cart." 

She informs me that its 'just being a good human being,' 

(the whole time walking away from me) so I turn to said cart...which was atop a flipping snowbank,

and I notice the employee gathering carts at the corral nearby. 

"They're getting it," I motioned. 

And she yelled something (even farther away now) about "random acts of kindness."

Pffffffft.

While yelling at me WAS random, lady, I find it far from kind!

A few nights later, in honor of the Random Acts grouch lady, I brought this basket in...

even though it was pouring rain...

AND I had to pee.

bite me lady

*slaps forehead*

{Scene: A mother and her two sons, aged 8 & 10 are finishing up their lunch at a quiet restaurant on a snowy day. The only other patrons are a pair of elderly friends meeting for lunch}

     OLDEST SON: "O.M.G. I'm soooooooooooooooo full!" *moaning*

     MOTHER:  "Shhhhhhhh!  Please don't be rude, there are other customers!" *nodding in direction of the elderly ladies in the booth right behind him*

     YOUNGER SON:  *scolds his older brother loudly* "Yeah!  Those old ladies are trying to enjoy their lunch! Geez."

     MOTHER:  *slaps forehead*  "Check, please!"

It's All Fun and Games...

It's all fun & games...

'til your kid announces:

"I peed when you tickled me!"

...and he was sitting on your back.

;-/

$9.99 Suckah!

Scene: The corner booth of a Friendly's restaurant.  A mom and dad have taken their toddler children out for lunch on the older boys' first day of school.  The mom wrestles silverware away from one toddler while another makes faces at a nearby tables' baby, and the dad picks up the scattered courtesy crayons and places them back in their boxes before the meal arrives.

TODDLER #3: (picks up a box of crayons, places it on his ear pretending it's a cell phone and says...) "$9.99 Suckah!"

End Act 1, Scene 1.
 


Scene 2 came later when we were at Old Navy and I asked Jakester, "Do you want this backpack, honey? It's only $4.99..."

Any guesses what his reply was?!

Day 1, Hour 1...

...of potty-training twins...

So far, they've worn them as hats, raced them around the living room floor, and sat on them...ON the couch.

UPDATE:  Gavin peepeed in his!!! Then Grady dumped it in his own and tried to take cred.  Fabulous.