Friday, July 27, 2012

5QF-- Vibrators + Olympians all in one post. Nice.

In the interest of having some posts consistency around these parts, I'm participating in Mama M's

Join in here!

Ready?  *Ahem*

Q1. What's the funniest thing you've seen on facebook/twitter this week?

Y'know, I have to say, the twits peeps I follow on twitter are the funniest people on the planet.  I reserve my retweets for hilariously witty posts, wicked smahhhhht (that's my Maine-ah voice) ideas, and links to posts that I want to read at a later time.  I see so many funny things on twitter, so I'll share one I've seen in the past hour...or 57 minutes to be exact:

@kimcormack: I totally just saw a butterfly with a tattoo of a slut on its back #facts

Bwahahahahaha! Still funn-ay, even 58 minutes later.

Imma show you something funny from facebook, too...but FAIR WARNING:  It's naughty.  So if you're not into that (which really, come'on, you clicked on a blog with the P word in it...), then cover your eyes and click the down arrow like 17 times. Ready?
You have to admit, that's pretty freaking clever.  Anywhoooooooooo...

Q2. What is your favorite Olympic Event?
What a strategically timed question that is, eh? hehe. I'm a couch potato not athletic, but I much prefer the Winter games to the Summer ones.  The luge is exciting, that super long skiing jumpy thing where they catch huge air is great too, oh and speed skating is fun to watch.  That being said, if I had to choose a favorite Summer game, it would be gymnastics.  Those athletes are so young! And talented! and poised! and muscular!  They amaze me. 
Please excuse me while I go off on a tangent here But I gotta say...the REAL heroes of the Olympic games? The parents. Well, yes, the athletes are amazeballs, I mean, they do the twirling, jumping, flipping stuff, but everyone of them wouldn't be there if it wasn't for a parent/guardian recognizing or even just SUPPORTING their talent/love for their sport early on in their very young lives.  The parents did the early a.m. wakeups, the driving a bazillion (give or take) miles to the gym/pool, the packing of the right leotards, the hairbraiding, and hell, the paying for all the lessons. Those are their babies out there in that water or on that beam.  Their own blood, sweat (I guess, if it's tennis they gotta watch), and tears are poured into their children...those are their babayyyyyys out there on that mat.  What an out-of-this-world proud moment that must be.
I have a swim mom and a gymnast mom that are friends of mine on ye 'ole FB.  One is local, one I met at Mom Congress.  I see their "check-ins" that were posted from the pool HOURS before I even thought of cracking an eyelid open; and their weeks at competitions that are out of state...their whole family's lives are put on hold so that their children can do what they love, and dream to do.  It's so inspiring and beautiful to watch. tear-filled rant over

Q3. a)Do your kids do chores around the house? {I skipped parts b) and c) here because DAMMIT! They don't apply}  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! This is an ongoing battle that I start and stop multiple times throughout the year.  Currently, my children are not "assigned" chores.  Will they empty this dishwasher or switch the laundry over if I tell them to? They damn well better if they ever want to touch that game controller again Yes, but not without equal parts complaining and trying to rationalize why another sibling should be doing it. And just this week, they've been clearing their plates off the table, usually after some yelling reminders.  All that took was the kitten shitting on one of them twice getting an upset stomach from eating the food.  I'm lazy inspired by the chore charts and cutesy magnets I see on pinterest. I guess it's time!!! I'm very much looking forward to reading everyone else's answers!

Q4. If you get bad food/service, do you complain or keep quiet?
If somethings not right with a food order, or if something is undercooked, like a steak, then yes...I'll say something.  I wouldn't label that as complaining...just bringing it to their attention and asking for it to be rectified, in a discreet manner.  Usually I'm more apologetic than them, to keep them running, but you get what you pay for! Having been "in the biz," the staff is FULLY aware when they aren't being attentive enough. If a waiter/waitress is rude, though, I'll hit 'em where it hurts...the tip. 

Q5. If you could pick one frivolous item for your home, what would it be?
More welcoming neighbors? haha jk. Ummmmmmmmmm...since we are renting, I can't do any MAJOR how's about a 24 foot pontoon boat for the driveway??!  YES PLEASE!  Momma wants to go mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmotorboatin'!!

Well, this was fun!! I look forward to reading everyone else's replies as well.  Link up!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

New Neighbor Etiquette

As I mentioned, we moved a few months ago. We were renting for 11 years and had outgrown our town pad, and it was time.  We chose a larger home in the city to rent, and have not looked back.  I love being close to all the amenities, and more that a city has to offer, versus cow country the small town we came from.  But there's one thing we've yet to do......

Befriend the neighbors.

It's not for lack of wanting to. I do. But I don't honestly think it's MY place to invade them just pop in and do what exactly? Hand them a stale banana bread  muffin and be all, "Heyyyyyyyyyy."  I'm no Bree VanderKamp. And I guess they aren't either.  I think I read somewhere, the "established neighbor" should make the first move contact. Jesus, what is this, an episode of Mr. Rogers?  Now that horrible song is in my head.
At this point...4 months later, it's kind of pointless anyway, no?  I really want to know what you think!  I don't need a basket of pastries, just a hello and a drinking buddy friendly face.  Let's be honest. If they dropped by tomorrow, they'd be lucky if I have pants on. Maybe it's for the best.  

Just wait 'til the house on the other side sells! I'm gonna annoy welcome the shit out of them. 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

WW-- Tools of the Trade.

What? You don't have one of these in your bathroom? Tsk. Tsk.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Ahhhh, Summer.

is in full swing here in Maine. 
The boys and I have been exploring the state (<-- link to my new, more PC blog about Maine...less Penises, more trees) and enjoying the weather.
Did you know we moved a few months ago?
From this...
to this...
The city baby!! Woot!
There's a park and pool on our street.  The kids WALK to school (it's only a few houses up) and...
wait for it...
I can get them off to school and be inside Target by 8:22am.
This is heaven, y'all!

We are doing alot this summer, but are also having a lot of "home" days. And by home, I mean pool ;)
There are lifeguards, who the boys have charmed...
Off-duty LG pulling them around
Another playing frisbee with them
 As much as we enjoy the pool, I gotta say...I'm completely shocked by the ignorance of some parents who take their kids there. The rules are simple: no diving, no food or drink, and noone under the age of 12 may swim without a parent with them.  There are 2 lifeguards on duty, clean bathrooms/facilities, and it's FREE!!

Yes, there's a fence, and people who know CPR...
But it's not a freakin' DAY CARE, people!  

I actually said that to someone one day, after a visibly inhibited father left his 6yr old there for 1.5 hours.  When he got back, the lifeguards confronted him (as harshly as timid teenage girls can), and he replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought he was safe here with you."  He IS safe here, they are LIFEGUARDS, but it's not a daycare, dude.

I've seen multiple people get their kids in the water, then go to their car for a smoke...or to play bball on the court, or walk a few blocks (way out of sight) down to a fastfood restaurant.  WTH people. 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE to people watch, and this is a prime location to do so (note: do not leave home without sunglasses!)

We go quite frequently, and there are some other "regulars." If you ask the lifeguards, we are probably considered regulars ourselves. There's the single mom with cute girls who are always so surprised to *gasp* get WET from splashing kids in the pool.  The rotten boy who can't share the toy he's got, but oooh, can he have what you have?  (Answer: Nope.)  One of my least favorites, is the dude with the BAD haircut who wears his wife's shorts (they've GOTTA be hers...there is NO room for his, um...junk). And quite frequently, I'm annoyed by this one dad who is quite mean to his kids.  Not that I don't harp on my own to stop acting up (Do you KNOW how many times I yell, "Hands OFF!" omw. Too many).

Recently, though, mean dad was not-so-mean dad, playing with his kids...singing silly songs, dancing to the radio, playing pocket pool  with them.  He was incredibly thirsty that day, too.  Here's a tip.  If you want to try to pass off some hard alcohol in a child's size McD's cup...a) use the cover and straw and b) just go ahead and spring for the LARGE cup, cuz when you and your backpack disappear to change in the bathroom, and your small, coverless cup comes back miraculously doesn't take a lifeguard  rocket scientist to figure out what's going on, there buddy.

It's hard to decide what to do when you witness something like that.  Well, it wouldn't have been THAT hard if I had seen him DRIVE up with those kids, but I knew he walked here with them from another neighborhood (hence the thirst, ha). So I didn't (but definitely would) have to step in before he got behind the wheel.  He called his wife for a ride home.  I made sure the lifeguards saw the magic full cup trick (they had), and haven't seen him there since.   

Would you have done anything differently?  Or just ditched your own kids there and walked to the bar for a drink.  All your friends are doing it. ;) There's always tomorrow...