Thursday, August 23, 2012

Are You Ready for Some Football?!

Welllllllllll...I thought we were he was...

I guess I should preface this story with another one:

It was a dark and stormy night. 
Wait, no it wasn't. It was a sunny, September afternoon. 
I was a couple months into being a mom of 5 boys under the age of 7. And I thought to myself, 
"Self, you dumbass let's sign up the oldest two for flag football at the Y." 
Because really, it would be fun to have them learn a sport that would make their Uumpa's proud...
and to get some of that energy out running on the field, 
and push other kids for a change......just not too hard, m'kay?! 

There were practices. 
And twins in the double caravan stroller. 
And McD's french fry bribes for the middle child. 
And a crazy-eyed momma who always wonders
what in the f she got herself into.
*ahem* Me.

The practices went great! They formed lines! Took turns!
Wow! Football is fun!
Then came Game Day.

It was another beautiful fall day. 
A Sunday, because hellooooooo. It's football.  
10 seconds into the first inning period whatever game, 
the menfolk were showing these flippin' 5 year olds how to line up at the line of scrimmage or some shit. 
5 year olds.
They paired up. Crouched down. There was a ball in there somewhere. 
A whistle blew. The kids pushed to get past each other.
Someone pushed a particularly blond 5 year old.  
*ahem* Mine. 
And just like >.< THAT, 
he fell to the ground as though he'd been SHOT, 
was carried off the field, 
and was a soccer player for life. 

Until 2 weeks ago. When he asked to play football here in the new city.

There were many "Are you sure?"s and double-checking about not playing soccer.  "Dude. It's football. TACKLE football!!? As in people laying on top of you."  "I know, Mawwwwwwwwwwm. I can do it!"

Personally, I thought football would be better than baseball or soccer, cuz this boy is hard on himself when it comes to striking out or not making/stopping a goal.  Football is more fast pace...there's no time to dwell on something not happening...shake it off, move on...chest bump, and go play!  He really seemed convinced this is what he wanted to do.

So I forked out way too much friggan $$ with it being back to school time and all... the fee, got him some gear, have spent 4 nights at practice...3 of them with siblings in tow (nightmare), 2 of them with husband to help the nightmares siblings chill, and 1 night of just me.

Doing this.
I think I can handle this football mom gig.
So these practices. Just drills, running, breaking up into groups to handle 'yo bus'ness. Or whatever they do in those groups. For 2 hours. Until 8pm. Dear gawd, it's cold in Maine at 8pm in August. Can't wait for October *eyeroll*

Anywhoooooooooo. So tonight at practice came the big announcement. 
"Tomorrow is equipment assignments...then we get to start HITTING!" 
yelled the coach, and the players cheered. 
They freakin' cheered. 
Except one.

*ahem* Mine.

(you knew that was coming, huh.)


angel shrout said...

Aww bless his heart mom. I know my oldest was all for it until it came to the hitting part as well. Suddenly he wanted to play basketball.

Debbie said...

hahahaha - oh this reminds me that I need to get my boys involved in a sport. I hate soccer so I'm going to try and avoid that one.
And I would totally read during practice and maybe even most of the game. Hey, we have to do what we have to do, right?

Anonymous said...

We did soccer w/ all mine. Did football with one...never again.
My kids will be the geeky ones that are into video games and grow up to be nuclear physists (maybe they will teach dear old mom to spell aloong with buying her a big house)...
:) Yeah, we don't miss the practices (it's HOT in Houston in triple digits), the money spent... yeah..don't miss it at all.
My youngest is taking BAND this year. OMG, kill me now! Talk about money?! I'm hoping he gets over it before high THERE'S a pricey little elective!!! Practice everyday after school, half the summer... yeah, uh no.
I am quite happy with them being slacker geeky kids.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to point out that everyone I went to high school with that played football EXCEPT one says their kids won't play football. The damage to their bodies is just incredible. The other guy? Yeah well he has a whole gaggle of boys and they do nothing BUT play sports. It's how they relate as a family..weird but true.

Jay Fallen said...

Found you on Mama M's link up :)
My 12 year old is starting football for the first time this year. They have been practicing for a couple of weeks. School starting on Monday here and they are starting practice with pads and such today, in about 30 minutes. It ought to be exciting since he has been raised by his mom (if you can call her that, long story somewhere on my blog im sure) So hes into geeky video game stuff. Hopefully he can tough it out... cause right now my 3 year old is tougher than him sometimes =/

Good luck with yours :)

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions! I'll be in touch!