Thursday, August 16, 2012

5QF--Of Mice and Moms.

In the interest of having some posts consistency around these parts, I'm participating in Mama M's

Join in here!

Ready?  *Ahem*

1. What's the one thing you buy every time you walk into the store?
That, my friends, is a trick question.  There are sooooo many sub-parts to this question...for example a) which type of store? b) who's with me? c) is it just a I-gotta-bribe-them-with-a-POStoy-from-the-dollar-store trip or d) we talking grocery shopping or fun shopping?

Nevermind. I can make this easy on us all.

ANSWER: Nothing. There is no one thing that I buy every time I walk into the store. The PROBLEM now that we moved to the biiiiig city *wink* is that every time we go to the store, we find ourselves in a drive-thru, getting an ice coffee (the mister) or frappe (me).

And that's only if we have no children in tow...because they ask everygawdforsakingDAY for us to buy them candy. Especially Gavin.  This is his "Please buy me candy, you haven't bought be candy since YESTERDAY!" face:
"Pleaseyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"Mwahahahahahahaha...she said maybe. woot!"
"Go ask daddy??  I'm getting candy, I'm getting candy!"
And when all else fails, and I forget to bring him home some candy...
He just takes my frappe.
(Please excuse our hand-me-down couch in the "man cave")
(and the chicken nugget. sheesh.)
2. If you had a day all to yourself how would you spend it?
I've been in the honeymoon phase of parenting as of last September and not just because they all wipe their own ass. The youngest 2 of 5 started full day preK in our old town. Sadly, when we moved, they only had a 3 hour program here, but I took all the free time I could get didn't mind. I found myself in Target and Christmas Tree Shops a lot. Or out to eat a hot breakfast and neglect my gym membership. 

In 12 days and 9 hours (who's counting?) (me, that's who!!!), they start Kindergarten *faux dramatic sob* and all 5 will be back in school full days. And I'll probably be trying to find a part-time gig  back to neglecting my gym membership, whilst frolicking through stores shopping alone and not sharing my frappe...and maybe a side of water zumba {sidebar: have you done water zumba?  Likes? Dislike? It'll be my 1st time}  

3. Are you a speed limit driver? If not, over or under?
Over baby. Well, not so much over that it's criminal or unsafe...but I've got places to be {like the gawdforsaking orthodontist} and too many personalities men in my little van to be in it longer than I have to be.  I remember my freshman math teacher once said she traveled "3 under 10 over" the speed limit, which still echoes in my head sometimes, idk why always stuck with me. Weirdness.  "In town" though, I'm a speed limit driver. I save my extra 7 mph for the highway :)

4. What's your favorite dessert to make, homemade or from a mix??
I don't have one. More weirdness, I know!  My favorite dessert is pretty much ohhhhh, y'know...any.  I like to MAKE monkey munch or "trash" (crispix with choc and powder sugar) and could eat pumpkin chocolate chip cookies all winter long.  Rice Krispie treats piss me off (to make), especially when they come out all stale. But a chocolate cream pie is easy peasy to whip up (and the mister's favorite)! So basically, my answer would be: easy ones.

5. Would you rather have a spider or a mouse scurry across your face (no copping out and saying "neither!!")?
OMFG. I have a funny mouse story here. I guess if I have to choose, I'd *gulp* prefer a mouse scurry across my face than a spider; for several reasons. 1)I wouldn't have to worry about a mouse crawling up my nose or 2)laying eggs up there and 3)given the mouse:face size ratio...they will scurry across said face much more quickly and 4)*shudder*

I'm the kind of person who sees a bug, then feels a piece of hair tickle my arm and flips out calmly brushes that area, thinking there is a bug there.  It's a subtle move, really...one which I've perfected over the years.  It's like a brush/grab and then (and this is an important part:) wipe it on furniture, a pantleg, or the nearest child grass.

DUDE! 
(May I call you Dude?)

DUDE! One night a few weeks ago, I was settling down in bed when the opportunity arose to do the brush/grab/wipe off of a piece of hair that I felt on my forehead.  The brush/grab went great, but when I wiped on the sheet beside me, SOMETHING ROLLED UNDER MY FINGERS.

*commence freakout*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE WAS JUST A SPIDER ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP! OMG IS THERE MORE IN MY HAIR? CHECK MY HAIR. EWWWWWWWW. OMG OMG WHERE WAS IT GOING?!?! WHAT IF IT WENT UP MY NOSE?!"

My hero The mister turns on the light, and there on the wall was the arachnid's accomplice. We are not talking about one of those teeeeeeeeny jumping spiders who look like their mama jumped the web to mate with a bumble bee, nor a small-bodied daddy long legs.  Oh nooooooo. This motherlover was honkin'!  And I had his guts on my hand sheet to prove it.

After some xanax cleanup, flushing of the other spider, and me making him check my hair 472 a few times, the mister finally shut off the light and I tossed and twitched all night because HELLOOO there was just a spider on my forehead for cripes sake?!! we went to sleep. 

*twitch*

10 comments:

lifestooshorttoplaypossum said...

The spider story nearly made me pee my pants!
I too have a complete break down if I think something has "touched" me. right now..we are in summer therefore those giant outdoor flying cockroaches are out. Dude...if I even THINK there is one in the house..forget it..NO ONE sleeps til it is dead and flushed. I will literally sit up all night waiting for it to scurry on out from whatever nook it's been hiding to kill that nasty SOB. ICK

Karen said...

I had to stop reading to wipe the tears from my face, I laughed so hard. I can totally related to that story, I am TERRIFIED of spiders and would also choose for a mouse to scurry across my face than an evil spider.

Grisel Rey said...

OMG!! That story was hysterical and it is definitely something I would do!!! I hate anything creepy/crawly on me. I can't even talk about insects without feeling all itchy, like I'm feeling now!! LOL!

Ellen (Tracy) said...

You lady, are one hilarious mama! I was laughing so hard I had to cover my mouth so I didn't wake the house. But then I snorted bc my mouth was covered when I took a deep breath in. Geez! Thank you for sharing your world and humor with us. P.S. Love the name of your blog!

Cheri said...

OMG, a spider crawling on your forehead in the dark? I think I would have a breakdown.

And I literally LOL'd at your mouse story!

WhisperingWriter said...

Mmm, I always buy candy at the grocery store.

The spider story scared me. I hate them so much.

Cassie {two-in-diapers.blogspot.com} said...

You are too funny! I'm a new follower from the Weekend Blog Walk. When you get a chance, I'd love a follow back at http://www.two-in-diapers.blogspot.com! :)

Shar Martinez said...

Hi, I'm Shar! :) A new follower from the blog hop! Come over and visit me whenever you get a chance! :)

Hilarious blog name! We're in the same boat as far as the surroundings go, hubby and I have 2 boys!

xoxo ♥ Shar
http://sharmartinez.blogspot.com

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

You are MY kinda Momma girl!!!!! I've been counting down the days for school to start again since the first day of summer vacation. That first day of school I have a party for myself, by myself. WHOO HOO!!!! Stopping by from the Weekend Blog Walk.

Memoirs of Me & Mine said...

I love your blog. New follower here.

http://www.memoirsofmeandmine.com/

Post a Comment

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions! I'll be in touch!