Thursday, August 16, 2012

The one where I scar my kid for life...

I'm a horrible mother. I may have scarred my kid for like, a whole hour life.

In my defense.........
I hate going to the orthodontist with 4 extra kids in tow. And since it IS still summer vacation 'round these parts...that's what I and the receptionist suffered through did today.

2 hours before everyone has been getting up on their own in the morning.
With an hour drive to get there.

I know.

Also in my defense 
(I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot today)
I didn't bring the flippin' dinosaur toys...they were already there! 
Provided by satan the practice.

There were enough to go around...but my 
do-I-seriously-have-to-share-this-freakin-dino-with-him-I've-been-sharing-my-shit-all-summer? 
spawn children found ways to mess that up too.

There was: 
roaring.
And fighting
(in the form of pushing each other--dino--off the wooden comment box)
Dying and eating the flesh of others 
(the dinos, not the kids...this time).
Shooshing. Lots and lots of shooshing
(by me).

And there was "pooping out of eggs."

Whattya want from me? They saw their dog "poop out" puppies one day, and have yet to ask where babies come from for realz. Hopefully it'll come up before they are fathers older. 
If not? meh.
At least they got the egg part right.
(Thanks Dino Dan!)

Anywho. The one joy I can take away from these orthodontist visits...
besides, y'know...straight teeth and such...
is when they put one of these doohickeys:
into here:
leaving your kid looking all like one of these:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I am telling y'all, there is no greater joy.

I took a picture of him (hence the scarring for life),
which he L'd his AO when he showed his Dad at dinner...
but can Mom go making a side-by-side collage of the aforementioned pic and those Sing-a-ma-jigs?
Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

Well, yes, actually, she did can, but he was all traumatized that I had put it on facebook already.
*cough* almost did. *cough*
And since I don't need to bring 4 kids to wait in a therapist's waiting room 
a therapy bill,
I won't post it here either.

:(

But I will snag one from google images of someone else's kid who probably cried for days  hates his mom  married his therapist cuz it was cheaper than paying for 50 min each week 
forgot all about this pic...
No children were harmed in the publishing of this photo. Well, not at my house anyway.
So, that was my morning before 11am.

It wasn't all bad though, while at the orthodontist's...

I did get to sit on Kevin Costner's face.

No actors were harmed in the taking of this photo unless you count in my dreams.

6 comments:

angel shrout said...

Ugh I hated my braces, hated them. Kevin Costners face is always a good place to sit, if he has shaved the scruff, cause sandpaper down there is never a good thing.. ahem. http://singedwingangelspad.com

Debbie said...

oh my LOL - (I would totally sit on Kevin Costner's face)
That mouth prop looks torturous!

Karen said...

OMG... I was smiling at your post, then I snorted when I read you sat on Kevin Costner's face. I think many women would want to do that.

I have a hard time with just my one boy at the dentist's office, I can;'t imagine four of them. You need a drink, LOL

Jen said...

Just think, you are giving your kid things to talk about in therapy some day. That's what I always tell myself. ;)

Chris Coyle said...

I ALMOST wished I had braces as a kid! My teeth weren't bad enough to warrant braces, but I did instead have to wear a full-on Frankenstein headgear and retainer for a while there! We're not talking the one strap behind your neck that snaps onto the retainer but the full wrap around your head kind. Not pretty! Must be tough juggling that many if someone wants you to come in with them while leaving others out front, etc. :( [#TALU]

Anne Kimball said...

SO funny! I hope you thanked Kevin before you left.
Thanks for linking this up with the TALU!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions! I'll be in touch!