Can I play your phone nowwwwwwwwwwwwww?!

Sound familiar?  Christmas couldn't come fast enough for this household!  All of a sudden, I only have to charge my phone once a day and when I reach for it, it's still *gasp* right where I left it.

Thanks, PlayMG!

5QF-- Frat boys, Zzzzs, and Bangs :)

Joining in Five Question Friday at fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com!

Even though it's technically 4 minutes into Saturday as I type. Anywhooo...

1. Would you rather pay for house cleaner or spa day?

At first, I was like, hellooooooooooo, house cleaner! But the truth is? I'd be so embarrassed by the messes My Many Men make that I'd have to CLEAN the house so the house cleaner could come.  

Source: someecards.com

So...I'm going with SPA!! I've never had a massage.

2. Who plans what gifts you get for holidays, you or your spouse?

We don't honestly do a lot of gifts for each other. If I want something, I get it. If he wants something, I talk him out of it. Haaaaaa. I'm so picky particular, it's easier to plan them myself. Less exchanges that way ;)

3. How many hours of sleep do you get? Do you need more?

Sometimes 5, sometimes 8ish. It depends on my caffeine consumption mood, I guess. And how many blogs I have in my reader :) Tonight...I'm shooting for 6 hours. Who doesn't need more---in the form of an afternoon nap!!

4. Do you like your hair long or short?

Long. I'm never sure about my bangs though...no bang, side bang, heavy bang. Bang. *snicker*

5. When was the last time you were pulled over and what was it for?

It's been almost a couple years I think...and it was an expired inspection sticker. I gave 'em the 'ole "I had no idea, my husband takes care of that stuff even though I harp on him weekly."

That was fun. If you wish to partake, visit Mama M. at

Missing.

ME: "Did you miss me, Gavi, when you were camping with Nana?"
GAVIN: "Yes."
ME: "Did you tell anyone?"
GAVIN (5yo): "It didn't come up."

Roadtrippin' with My Many Men

There's nothing quite like the panic attack induced when your kid tells you he counted and there's only 20 days left until the epic road trip you thought you had more than a month to prep for.

That was 6 days ago.

*deep breaths*

5 boys, 3 weeks, 21 states, 2 oceans, a handful of national landmarks, 5,000 some-odd miles, countless new gray hairs, and a bottle of xanax. (I wish...just kidding)

I've done quite a few searches for road trip tips and hope to utilize the ticket system for rewards and the clothespin on the visor for behavior. Do you have any other tried and true tips for me?

(Other than the wrapped dollar store gift bags every hour...that just sounds like a whoooole lot of trash, clutter, and frustrated tears over broken junkass toys every one hour and five minutes. ...the kids might cry, too.)

All The Cool Kids Are Doing It.

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007

Fake snake...check.

Fake gun...check.

Fake calculator phone...check.

Fake dollar store glasses...check.

Cutest spy ever...check!

Random Acts of...Shut the Hell UP!

Walking into Hannaford one day, a lady yells to me: "Grab that cart!" and points to one behind me. 

I reply: "I don't need a cart." 

She informs me that its 'just being a good human being,' 

(the whole time walking away from me) so I turn to said cart...which was atop a flipping snowbank,

and I notice the employee gathering carts at the corral nearby. 

"They're getting it," I motioned. 

And she yelled something (even farther away now) about "random acts of kindness."

Pffffffft.

While yelling at me WAS random, lady, I find it far from kind!

A few nights later, in honor of the Random Acts grouch lady, I brought this basket in...

even though it was pouring rain...

AND I had to pee.

bite me lady

WW--Twinkies

Apparently, My 5yr old Loves Weed.

5YR OLD (playing xbox): "Yay, weed! Those were flowers but all the rest is weed."

ME to 12YR OLD: "Is he serious?"

5YR OLD: "I love weed."

ME to 12YR OLD: "WHAT?! Why is he saying that?!!?! Is there really weed on that game?!"

5YR OLD: "Weed is so awesome. I've got all the weed in the world!"

ME: "12YO! OMG! 5YO! GET OFF THAT GAME!"

12YR OLD: "What, why?!"

5YR OLD: "Weed, weed, weed. I'm harvesting my weed."

ME: "!!!!!! *points*"

12YR OLD: "MOM! He's playing Minecraft. It's WHEAT."

ME: "Oh. Carry on."

Redo of yesterday's video

Watch "Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were A Goat When You Walked In [10 Min]" on YouTube

Goats slay me.

Just because I can't get enough of these goats...and my kid just shared this on fb...

5QF--Weeds, Snow, & Long Car Rides

In the interest of having some posts consistency around these parts, I'm participating in Mama M's

Join in here!

1. What is a hobby you would love to learn and why? 

     Hmmmmmmmmmm...I think I would choose gardening...for starters.  The why is cuz...I can't. These ole thumbs are black. And because flowers are pretty! So if you have any pointers or favs or anything else to share...please comment below! Our backyard is 99% shadowed by mid-afternoon...so what grows well in the shade? (Besides weeds...I'm GREAT at those)

2. What do you wish you could have delivered to your house but does not deliver?

     Olive Garden! But it's probably just as well they don't...as I put the finishing touches on my weightloss blog earlier today :/

3. What's your favorite snow day activity? Inside and out?

     I love fall. Sweater weather, crisp breezes, beautiful foliage. I do not love winter. BUT I suppose if I have to choose, snowtubing? We did that with the kids before and it was quite fun. And cold. But fun.  Inside is easy...snuggles, blankets, movies, kiddos, and couch. 'Nuff said.

4. Would you meet a stranger from an Internet dating site?

     Do people still do that? Didn't I see on Dr. Phil that there's a bunch of scammers on that?  Anywho, I hope I never have to find out, but honestly, I think I'd choose NO.

5. If you had to spend 35 hours in a car with 4 other people, who would you choose? 

     Been there, done that. My Many Men and I drove to Ohio to visit my sis a couple summers ago. I'm thinking of doing the same this year, only going further...if I don't lose my nerve and the wee bit of sanity I have remaining... So, since you've requested 4, I'll answer 4 of my 5 boys.  I'm not saying that I have favorites cuz you're not supposed to but I will say that of the 5 there's one who is my LEAST favorite on car trips. He'd like a 4 foot radius around him in the car. Hell, wouldn't we all.

I'm a Commercial Snob.

I don't usually watch commercials. In fact, I'm a commercial snob. But one night, we caught the Directv Genie commercial.  Record 5 shows at once?  Hells to the yeah!!! 

I dialed them right up, explained I'm interested in the Genie, and the operator asked, "You mean the box, not the girl, right?" HA! I told her I'm all set with the girl, but thanks for asking.  My husband, however, wondered how much extra per month that would be...More than you know, honey, more than you know. 

Sadly, for the low price of $299, we could record 5 shows. Ummmm, no thanks. I'll juggle my 2 shows, recordings and glares from my family as I check that everything is set to record "just for a quick second," as they watch ANOTHER episode of Pawn Stars in a teeny box in the upper lefthand corner of the screen. Heh.

So instead of the Genie or the girl, we opted for the promo package of HBO/STARZ/SHO, etc. I was all caught up on season 2 of Homeland that night (Go Carrie!). Woot. And we're usually pretty good about grabbing movies from Redbox when they come out ($1.26, love it!), but apparently we skipped a few, cuz we have watched and enjoyed The Descendents, The Lucky One, and Battleship. 

Not to mention the 1991 version of Robin Hood--with super young Kevin Costner and Christian Slater. (Yum.) And since I've already had sexual relations with Kevin, it was only right to share this movie with my many men.  I couldn't help but laugh at the hair and horrible punch lines... how lucky for my family that I turned as many scenes into a musical as possible?! "Search your heart, search your soulllllllllllllllllllll!" I crooned.  They loved it.  My best moment was when Kev (we're tight) went to swing on the rope but *gasp* it was on fire, so I let him know, to the tune of Alicia Keys new song: "That rope is on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire!"

As I searched for the commercial above to embed it on this post, the boys heard the guy yell after the turtle bit his finger and they came running: "We want to watch the sheep video again, too, Mom!"  So please excuse me while I indulge them for the 47th-ish time...

"Goats yelling like humans"

 

Wordless Wednesday--My Lovebug

At an indoor waterpark, my lovebug said, "I just want to relax with you, Momma." That lasted about 3 minutes. :)

<3

 

5QF-- Twinkies, trash, and sweaty pants.

In the interest of having some posts consistency around these parts, I'm participating in Mama M's

Join in here!

Ready?  *Ahem*

1. If you could have been (could be) any profession you wanted (brains and $$$ no problem) what would it be?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, with all the kiddos headed back to school full-time...maybe it's time for this momma to get back into the workforce.  Atleast part-time.  Anywho, what I enjoy most is greeting people and office work.  So, an office position of some sort would be amazeballs.  And on the practical side of things, it'd have to be either a night job or just during the school year, so as to not pay daycare (because helloooo, what would be the point in THAT!) which leaves me with the position of School Secretary. Home on weekends and vacation days/holidays. Perfect. Set that up for me, wouldya?

2. How often do you clean out your car?

Blech. Not often enough. I usually take the hint when they open the sliders of the fan and a bunch of shit falls out. Actually, I've been doing rather okay with it...emptying trash into the outside can on Friday mornings (trash day) and when I step on shit that just fell out when they opened the door when I get the urge.  But, alas, *sigh* not nearly often enough.

3. Do you wish there was such a thing as fashion police or are you deeply relieved?

I would be okay with that...I've tried to make it a rule not to leave the house in sweatpants. But rules are meant to be broken, amIright!? Sooooo. Either way is fine. I'd probably just contest the ticket and fight it in court, which would lead to the ticket getting thrown out, cuz the FP wouldn't show up, cuz there are FAR too many people out there worse off than moi! lol  My sister even said a few times, trying to be nice...I guess... *eyeroll* "She might be big, but atleast she dresses nice." Um. okay. Thanks. Or should I say, you're welcome? lol  {Evil revenge: she later popped out 2 kids of her own mwahahahahahahahaha} {but she's doing great losing on Weight Watchers...and stress} {biotch.}

4. What's your go to food/drink/activity when stressed?
I partake in Retail Therapy. Actual therapy would probably be cheaper, though. :/

5. If you had twins, what would you name them?

Hey! I've got some of those!! They are Gavin & Grady. Our youngest. Here are some pics...

Newborn Twinkies!

We're 2!! This pic makes me happy and sad!

A recent adventure with their bros...notice the "croc pots" in the background?

And no, they weren't in a Subway commercial...
They turned 5 this summer!

 (5, 5, 5 dollah foot looooooooooooooooooooong!)

Make a wish, twinkies!

Making the best of a rainy baseball game. Have Mike&Ike's...will travel.

Wanna know something COMPLETELY insane?! 

I'd love to have another set of twins! Right now. And their names would be Charlie and Max, or maybe Duncan (family name) OR if they were girls: Andy and Charlie. 

I know. ;)

Are You Ready for Some Football?! ...um...err...

Welllllllllll...I thought we were he was...

I guess I should preface this story with another one:

It was a dark and stormy night. 

Wait, no it wasn't. It was a sunny, September afternoon. 

I was a couple months into being a mom of 5 boys under the age of 7. And I thought to myself, 

"Self, you dumbass let's sign up the oldest two for flag football at the Y." 

Because really, it would be fun to have them learn a sport that would make their Uumpa's proud...

and to get some of that energy out running on the field, 

and push other kids for a change......just not too hard, m'kay?! 

There were practices. 

And twins in the double caravan stroller. 

And McD's french fry bribes for the middle child. 

And a crazy-eyed momma who always wonders
what in the f she got herself into.

*ahem* Me.

The practices went great! They formed lines! Took turns!
Wow! Football is fun!

Then came Game Day.

It was another beautiful fall day. 

A Sunday, because hellooooooo. It's football.  

10 seconds into the first inning period whatever game, 

the menfolk were showing these flippin' 5 year olds how to line up at the line of scrimmage or some shit. 

5 year olds.

They paired up. Crouched down. There was a ball in there somewhere. 

A whistle blew. The kids pushed to get past each other.

Someone pushed a particularly blond 5 year old.  

*ahem* Mine. 

And just like >.< THAT, 

he fell to the ground as though he'd been SHOT, 

was carried off the field, 

and was a soccer player for life. 

Until 2 weeks ago. When he asked to play football here in the new city.

There were many "Are you sure?"s and double-checking about not playing soccer.  "Dude. It's football. TACKLE football!!? As in people laying on top of you."  "I know, Mawwwwwwwwwwm. I can do it!"

Personally, I thought football would be better than baseball or soccer, cuz this boy is hard on himself when it comes to striking out or not making/stopping a goal.  Football is more fast pace...there's no time to dwell on something not happening...shake it off, move on...chest bump, and go play!  He really seemed convinced this is what he wanted to do.

So I forked out way too much friggan $$ with it being back to school time and all... the fee, got him some gear, have spent 4 nights at practice...3 of them with siblings in tow (nightmare), 2 of them with husband to help the nightmares siblings chill, and 1 night of just me.

Doing this.

I think I can handle this football mom gig.

So these practices. Just drills, running, breaking up into groups to handle 'yo bus'ness. Or whatever they do in those groups. For 2 hours. Until 8pm. Dear gawd, it's cold in Maine at 8pm in August. Can't wait for October *eyeroll*

Anywhoooooooooo. So tonight at practice came the big announcement. 

"Tomorrow is equipment assignments...then we get to start HITTING!" 

yelled the coach, and the players cheered. 

They freakin' cheered. 

Except one.

*ahem* Mine.

(you knew that was coming, huh.)

WW--Balloon Festival!

I'll post more about this on the next Maine-ly Monday!

The colors were amazing!!

and here's a funny one...

Free enemas at the splashpad...no registration required!

Happy Wordless Wednesday!

(click above for more, and to share yours!)

Maine-ly Monday: Harvest Hill Farm/Pumpkinland

I'm thinking of starting a weekly thang here called 
Maine-ly Monday...Maine Adventures of My Many Men & I.

I'll share places in Maine that we have visited. Perhaps you can enjoy them, or find them useful if you ever visit our state. 

I'm always looking for new things to do with the boys, and one day came across Harvest Hill Farms/Pumpkinland on facebook.  There were posts about their free opening day of the Field of Dreams last month, and after exploring the Harvest Hill Farms website, and seeing all the fun things for the kids to do, we were on our way.

They had me at free. ;)

I admittedly had no idea where I was going when we headed on Rte. 26. It's unchartered territory for me.  Thankfully, my trucker husband came along to help navigate.  Luckily, locating Harvest Hill isn't a needle in a haystack type mission.  Oh no.  Rolling up on the farm, it's clear that Harvest Hill IS the haystack.  I wasn't able to find the actual acreage on the website, and wouldn't dare take a guess at it, but suffice to say, Harvest Hill Farm is quite large, beautiful, and well-kept.

This is the Farm House Pizza & Deli, where wonderful treats, pizzas, and anything you can imagine is made
and sold at VERY reasonable prices.  The menu is online.

In front of the Farm House are picnic tables for dining, a swingset,  and several wooden
vehicles for the kids to climb upon. My boys could have done that all day!

 But there was so much more to see and do, that mean old momma had to drag them away for a bit.

We checked out the bulls, horses, and fed the goats (tip: BRING YOUR QUARTERS for feed!!)

That's a whole lotta bull.

Uninterested, hungry horses :)

I repeat...don't forget your quarters!...

...and hand sanitizer LOL

Then it was on to the petting barn where we visited pigs, chickens, and I think a sheep or two...

Ramp for strollers/wheelchairs. There's restrooms above the store, and that day, there was a portapotty near the barn

This pig stood as high as our 5 year olds! lol

Grady was not overly excited by his slimy nose :)

Inside the petting barn, there was also a friendly bunny to...well...pet.  And a non-smiling tween ;)

There's the pond below, and the large tent in the background for picnicking and events.
Harvest Hill recently hosted Motor Booty Affair!  (LOVE them). More events are planned, check the site.

Behind the Petting Barn is the actual FIELD of Dreams.  We greeted the growing bunny population of Cottontail Village...before the boys ran to "speak" with the ducks in the pond.

Who knew bunnies were so religious?  My husband tried to tell me they were holding "church" like on
Sons of Anarchy (we're huge fans).  LOL badass bunnies

Speaking duck.

Around the other side of the pond, as pictured below, is the Giant Slides.  It was a gorgeous day; sunny with a breeze, and just LOOK at the backdrop...Maine mountains.  This must be even more breathtaking in the fall!

Slides in the distance.

There are some great photo opps on the way to the slides.

Slides for the lil tykes.

Can you tell what these SUPER FAST slides are made from???

 Bowling alleys!  They're perfect. We all know how slippery they are in those shoes!

The walk back up the hill is a bit steep...and hard to maneuver when you've got the giggles!

 After admiring the great views, we moved on to the Pedal Kart Track, but were distracted by the sandbox and tractors...

The Pedal Kart Track.  Apparently I only took video of them, no pics.

*swoon* The view!

 Directly behind the sandbox is the Pièce de Field of Dreams résistance: The Giant Jumping Pillow.

This pic is from facebook, again, I took a bunch of video of my lil jumping beans :)

What catches your eye in the background?  A FIRETRUCK?!

 After burning some serious energy on the jumping pillow, the boys were quite excited ran to climb on the lobster boat and firetruck.  And climb they did.

Ahoy!

The large ear of corn in the background is a theatre of some sort...it wasn't open the day we were there.
There was some landwork being done past the corn...there's more coming to the Field of Dreams!

 As we made the loop back around the Field of Dreams, we met the donkeys in a Shrek-themed fenced in area, presumably used for Halloween & Pumpkinland. 

Sweet, aren't they?!

 One last trip to Cottontail Village before exiting through the Petting Barn...

And we had completed the Field of Dreams.

It was a great day! We all enjoyed the farm. And even though the day we went was free, Harvest Hill Farms Field of Dreams is completely worth the $5.00/pp on any given day.  You can pack a lunch or order from the market.  That's what we'll be doing next time.  The pizza smells and looks amazing! 

I'm VERY excited to take the boys back in the fall, to experience Pumpkinland, Corn Maze,the Fall Harvest Tour, and the beautiful fall foliage.

Oh! And Harvest Hill Farms has recently added the Lucky Strike Mining Co...where you can "mine" for gems! And since mining gems is on our bucket list of Maine things to do, we'll be able to do it on our next visit! How great is that?!

The boys are excited too! As I was compiling this post, they recalled their visit, and asked SEVERAL times when we can go back. :)

Soon, boys, very soon!

5QF--Of Mice and Moms.

In the interest of having some posts consistency around these parts, I'm participating in Mama M's

Join in here!

Ready?  *Ahem*

1. What's the one thing you buy every time you walk into the store?

That, my friends, is a trick question.  There are sooooo many sub-parts to this question...for example a) which type of store? b) who's with me? c) is it just a I-gotta-bribe-them-with-a-POStoy-from-the-dollar-store trip or d) we talking grocery shopping or fun shopping?

Nevermind. I can make this easy on us all.

ANSWER: Nothing. There is no one thing that I buy every time I walk into the store. The PROBLEM now that we moved to the biiiiig city *wink* is that every time we go to the store, we find ourselves in a drive-thru, getting an ice coffee (the mister) or frappe (me).

And that's only if we have no children in tow...because they ask everygawdforsakingDAY for us to buy them candy. Especially Gavin.  This is his "Please buy me candy, you haven't bought be candy since YESTERDAY!" face:

"Pleaseyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Mwahahahahahahaha...she said maybe. woot!"

"Go ask daddy??  I'm getting candy, I'm getting candy!"

And when all else fails, and I forget to bring him home some candy...

He just takes my frappe.
(Please excuse our hand-me-down couch in the "man cave")
(and the chicken nugget. sheesh.)

2. If you had a day all to yourself how would you spend it?

I've been in the honeymoon phase of parenting as of last September and not just because they all wipe their own ass. The youngest 2 of 5 started full day preK in our old town. Sadly, when we moved, they only had a 3 hour program here, but I took all the free time I could get didn't mind. I found myself in Target and Christmas Tree Shops a lot. Or out to eat a hot breakfast and neglect my gym membership. 

In 12 days and 9 hours (who's counting?) (me, that's who!!!), they start Kindergarten *faux dramatic sob* and all 5 will be back in school full days. And I'll probably be trying to find a part-time gig  back to neglecting my gym membership, whilst frolicking through stores shopping alone and not sharing my frappe...and maybe a side of water zumba {sidebar: have you done water zumba?  Likes? Dislike? It'll be my 1st time}  

3. Are you a speed limit driver? If not, over or under?

Over baby. Well, not so much over that it's criminal or unsafe...but I've got places to be {like the gawdforsaking orthodontist} and too many personalities men in my little van to be in it longer than I have to be.  I remember my freshman math teacher once said she traveled "3 under 10 over" the speed limit, which still echoes in my head sometimes, idk why always stuck with me. Weirdness.  "In town" though, I'm a speed limit driver. I save my extra 7 mph for the highway :)

4. What's your favorite dessert to make, homemade or from a mix??

I don't have one. More weirdness, I know!  My favorite dessert is pretty much ohhhhh, y'know...any.  I like to MAKE monkey munch or "trash" (crispix with choc and powder sugar) and could eat pumpkin chocolate chip cookies all winter long.  Rice Krispie treats piss me off (to make), especially when they come out all stale. But a chocolate cream pie is easy peasy to whip up (and the mister's favorite)! So basically, my answer would be: easy ones.

5. Would you rather have a spider or a mouse scurry across your face (no copping out and saying "neither!!")?

OMFG. I have a funny mouse story here. I guess if I have to choose, I'd *gulp* prefer a mouse scurry across my face than a spider; for several reasons. 1)I wouldn't have to worry about a mouse crawling up my nose or 2)laying eggs up there and 3)given the mouse:face size ratio...they will scurry across said face much more quickly and 4)*shudder*

I'm the kind of person who sees a bug, then feels a piece of hair tickle my arm and flips out calmly brushes that area, thinking there is a bug there.  It's a subtle move, really...one which I've perfected over the years.  It's like a brush/grab and then (and this is an important part:) wipe it on furniture, a pantleg, or the nearest child grass.

DUDE! 
(May I call you Dude?)

DUDE! One night a few weeks ago, I was settling down in bed when the opportunity arose to do the brush/grab/wipe off of a piece of hair that I felt on my forehead.  The brush/grab went great, but when I wiped on the sheet beside me, SOMETHING ROLLED UNDER MY FINGERS.

*commence freakout*

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE WAS JUST A SPIDER ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP! OMG IS THERE MORE IN MY HAIR? CHECK MY HAIR. EWWWWWWWW. OMG OMG WHERE WAS IT GOING?!?! WHAT IF IT WENT UP MY NOSE?!"

My hero The mister turns on the light, and there on the wall was the arachnid's accomplice. We are not talking about one of those teeeeeeeeny jumping spiders who look like their mama jumped the web to mate with a bumble bee, nor a small-bodied daddy long legs.  Oh nooooooo. This motherlover was honkin'!  And I had his guts on my hand sheet to prove it.

After some xanax cleanup, flushing of the other spider, and me making him check my hair 472 a few times, the mister finally shut off the light and I tossed and twitched all night because HELLOOO there was just a spider on my forehead for cripes sake?!! we went to sleep. 

*twitch*