The Day I Became a Biker Bitch Cliche

This weekend was a rare one for the Mister and I.  An overnight away from my many men, in a hotel, on the motorcycle!  What?! Oh yeah. And I became a biker bitch cliche.  Wanna know how?  Keep reading...

But first, some pics!

I prefer this kind of biking...not that!

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

We had amazing weather for the climb up Mt. Washington. (and by climb, I mean DRIVE up MW on the motorcycles; because what am I, nuts? who would want to hike the 8-10 miles up a mountain?! HUNDREDS of people, that's who! You should have seen the crazy bastards cars lined up along the roadside, with children in tow, even!)

We only knew one person in the group of bikes we were in, but quickly became friends with the rest! Bikers people too, y'know ;) We look forward to riding with them again!

The temp at the bottom! Sofa king hot. But it was a breezy 66 degrees up top!

There aren't any guardrails on the 7-8 mile loop up the Mt. Washington Auto Road. Just rocks...

Majestic views that aren't done justice by these pics.

And in some spots...there is lack of rocks!

Going uppppppppppp!

The mountains go on forever

Objects in the mirror may enjoy taking self portraits ;)

The Mister and the mountains

I'd much rather climb this on a bike than in a car!  There's barely enough room for 2 cars to pass

Back on the ride down...

Yes, honey, I see that's the lodge we started at, now get your gawdforsaking hand back on the bars!!

A quick stop for some pics of me. His idea. *faints* I never have pics of me! 

On the way home, we separated from the group of bikers (helloooo, it was New Hampshire and momma wanted to shop...though I was restricted to purchasing the capacity of the saddlebags :/ But we made out at the Aeropostale outlet! $2.99 and 4.99 tees), and it was on the highway while doing 80 the speed limit, that I learned an important lesson:

I already knew texting and driving is dangerous, but texting while riding on the back of a motorcycle is equally hazardous (to other drivers...) because as you are paying attention to your phone, your shirt flies up around your neck, so you try to pull down what you think is the aforementioned shirt (not looking away from the phone screen), only to end up pulling down your cami instead.  So there you are, shirt up, cami down, leaving a couple boobs things flapping in the breeze that shouldn't be.

In other news, that guy from Arizona, who passed us, gives Maine's hospitality 2 thumbs up...

And here's my favorite pic...climbing down the mountain.

No boundaries. Love it.

Badass biker wannabe momma bahahahahahahaha

Speaking of badass...can't wait for Sept. 11!!

Sons of Anarchy

Do you watch?! Do you ride motorcycles? What's your favorite destination on bikes? and even if you don't ride...suggestions for a road trip?!

5QF-- Vibrators + Olympians all in one post. Nice.

In the interest of having some posts consistency around these parts, I'm participating in Mama M's

Join in here!

Ready?  *Ahem*

Q1. What's the funniest thing you've seen on facebook/twitter this week?

Y'know, I have to say, the twits peeps I follow on twitter are the funniest people on the planet.  I reserve my retweets for hilariously witty posts, wicked smahhhhht (that's my Maine-ah voice) ideas, and links to posts that I want to read at a later time.  I see so many funny things on twitter, so I'll share one I've seen in the past hour...or 57 minutes to be exact:

@kimcormack: I totally just saw a butterfly with a tattoo of a slut on its back #facts

Bwahahahahaha! Still funn-ay, even 58 minutes later.

Imma show you something funny from facebook, too...but FAIR WARNING:  It's naughty.  So if you're not into that (which really, come'on, you clicked on a blog with the P word in it...), then cover your eyes and click the down arrow like 17 times. Ready?

You have to admit, that's pretty freaking clever.  Anywhoooooooooo...

Q2. What is your favorite Olympic Event?

What a strategically timed question that is, eh? hehe. I'm a couch potato not athletic, but I much prefer the Winter games to the Summer ones.  The luge is exciting, that super long skiing jumpy thing where they catch huge air is great too, oh and speed skating is fun to watch.  That being said, if I had to choose a favorite Summer game, it would be gymnastics.  Those athletes are so young! And talented! and poised! and muscular!  They amaze me. 

Please excuse me while I go off on a tangent here But I gotta say...the REAL heroes of the Olympic games? The parents. Well, yes, the athletes are amazeballs, I mean, they do the twirling, jumping, flipping stuff, but everyone of them wouldn't be there if it wasn't for a parent/guardian recognizing or even just SUPPORTING their talent/love for their sport early on in their very young lives.  The parents did the early a.m. wakeups, the driving a bazillion (give or take) miles to the gym/pool, the packing of the right leotards, the hairbraiding, and hell, the paying for all the lessons. Those are their babies out there in that water or on that beam.  Their own blood, sweat (I guess, if it's tennis they gotta watch), and tears are poured into their children...those are their babayyyyyys out there on that mat.  What an out-of-this-world proud moment that must be.

I have a swim mom and a gymnast mom that are friends of mine on ye 'ole FB.  One is local, one I met at Mom Congress.  I see their "check-ins" that were posted from the pool HOURS before I even thought of cracking an eyelid open; and their weeks at competitions that are out of state...their whole family's lives are put on hold so that their children can do what they love, and dream to do.  It's so inspiring and beautiful to watch. tear-filled rant over

Q3. a)Do your kids do chores around the house? {I skipped parts b) and c) here because DAMMIT! They don't apply}  Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! This is an ongoing battle that I start and stop multiple times throughout the year.  Currently, my children are not "assigned" chores.  Will they empty this dishwasher or switch the laundry over if I tell them to? They damn well better if they ever want to touch that game controller again Yes, but not without equal parts complaining and trying to rationalize why another sibling should be doing it. And just this week, they've been clearing their plates off the table, usually after some yelling reminders.  All that took was the kitten shitting on one of them twice getting an upset stomach from eating the food.  I'm lazy inspired by the chore charts and cutesy magnets I see on pinterest. I guess it's time!!! I'm very much looking forward to reading everyone else's answers!

Q4. If you get bad food/service, do you complain or keep quiet?

If somethings not right with a food order, or if something is undercooked, like a steak, then yes...I'll say something.  I wouldn't label that as complaining...just bringing it to their attention and asking for it to be rectified, in a discreet manner.  Usually I'm more apologetic than them, to keep them running, but you get what you pay for! Having been "in the biz," the staff is FULLY aware when they aren't being attentive enough. If a waiter/waitress is rude, though, I'll hit 'em where it hurts...the tip. 

Q5. If you could pick one frivolous item for your home, what would it be?

More welcoming neighbors? haha jk. Ummmmmmmmmm...since we are renting, I can't do any MAJOR changes...so how's about a 24 foot pontoon boat for the driveway??!  YES PLEASE!  Momma wants to go mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmotorboatin'!!

Well, this was fun!! I look forward to reading everyone else's replies as well.  Link up!

New Neighbor Etiquette

As I mentioned, we moved a few months ago. We were renting for 11 years and had outgrown our town pad, and it was time.  We chose a larger home in the city to rent, and have not looked back.  I love being close to all the amenities, and more that a city has to offer, versus cow country the small town we came from.  But there's one thing we've yet to do......

Befriend the neighbors.

It's not for lack of wanting to. I do. But I don't honestly think it's MY place to invade them just pop in and do what exactly? Hand them a stale banana bread  muffin and be all, "Heyyyyyyyyyy."  I'm no Bree VanderKamp. And I guess they aren't either.  I think I read somewhere, the "established neighbor" should make the first move contact. Jesus, what is this, an episode of Mr. Rogers?  Now that horrible song is in my head.

At this point...4 months later, it's kind of pointless anyway, no?  I really want to know what you think!  I don't need a basket of pastries, just a hello and a drinking buddy friendly face.  Let's be honest. If they dropped by tomorrow, they'd be lucky if I have pants on. Maybe it's for the best.  

Just wait 'til the house on the other side sells! I'm gonna annoy welcome the shit out of them. 

WW-- Tools of the Trade.

What? You don't have one of these in your bathroom? Tsk. Tsk.

Ahhhh, Summer.

is in full swing here in Maine. 

The boys and I have been exploring the state (<-- link to my new, more PC blog about Maine...less Penises, more trees) and enjoying the weather.

Did you know we moved a few months ago?

From this...

to this...

The city baby!! Woot!

There's a park and pool on our street.  The kids WALK to school (it's only a few houses up) and...

wait for it...

I can get them off to school and be inside Target by 8:22am.

This is heaven, y'all!

We are doing alot this summer, but are also having a lot of "home" days. And by home, I mean pool ;)

There are lifeguards, who the boys have charmed...

Off-duty LG pulling them around

Another playing frisbee with them

 As much as we enjoy the pool, I gotta say...I'm completely shocked by the ignorance of some parents who take their kids there. The rules are simple: no diving, no food or drink, and noone under the age of 12 may swim without a parent with them.  There are 2 lifeguards on duty, clean bathrooms/facilities, and it's FREE!!

Yes, there's a fence, and people who know CPR...

But it's not a freakin' DAY CARE, people!  

I actually said that to someone one day, after a visibly inhibited father left his 6yr old there for 1.5 hours.  When he got back, the lifeguards confronted him (as harshly as timid teenage girls can), and he replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought he was safe here with you."  He IS safe here, they are LIFEGUARDS, but it's not a daycare, dude.

I've seen multiple people get their kids in the water, then go to their car for a smoke...or to play bball on the court, or walk a few blocks (way out of sight) down to a fastfood restaurant.  WTH people. 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE to people watch, and this is a prime location to do so (note: do not leave home without sunglasses!)

We go quite frequently, and there are some other "regulars." If you ask the lifeguards, we are probably considered regulars ourselves. There's the single mom with cute girls who are always so surprised to *gasp* get WET from splashing kids in the pool.  The rotten boy who can't share the toy he's got, but oooh, can he have what you have?  (Answer: Nope.)  One of my least favorites, is the dude with the BAD haircut who wears his wife's shorts (they've GOTTA be hers...there is NO room for his, um...junk). And quite frequently, I'm annoyed by this one dad who is quite mean to his kids.  Not that I don't harp on my own to stop acting up (Do you KNOW how many times I yell, "Hands OFF!" omw. Too many).

Recently, though, mean dad was not-so-mean dad, playing with his kids...singing silly songs, dancing to the radio, playing pocket pool  with them.  He was incredibly thirsty that day, too.  Here's a tip.  If you want to try to pass off some hard alcohol in a child's size McD's cup...a) use the cover and straw and b) just go ahead and spring for the LARGE cup, cuz when you and your backpack disappear to change in the bathroom, and your small, coverless cup comes back miraculously full...well...it doesn't take a lifeguard  rocket scientist to figure out what's going on, there buddy.

It's hard to decide what to do when you witness something like that.  Well, it wouldn't have been THAT hard if I had seen him DRIVE up with those kids, but I knew he walked here with them from another neighborhood (hence the thirst, ha). So I didn't (but definitely would) have to step in before he got behind the wheel.  He called his wife for a ride home.  I made sure the lifeguards saw the magic full cup trick (they had), and haven't seen him there since.   

Would you have done anything differently?  Or just ditched your own kids there and walked to the bar for a drink.  All your friends are doing it. ;) There's always tomorrow...

*kidding*  

Me + D.C. - 6 penises x 3 days = Mom Congress 2012

Poor Mom Congress.  I bet they never thought they'd be used in the same equation as penises (I still want to say peni), yet here we are.  Here I am. 5 days until my (first! ever!) flight to D.C.  I'm feeling a bit unsuited to be surrounded by such amazing moms.  These ladies are hard core!  Foundation this, organization that.  *gulp*

I'm honored to represent Maine Moms.  I take this job seriously.  Because yes, being mom is a job.  On forms when it asks for occupation, I always write "Mom." with the period included lol  My facebook occupation reads:
            I work 24/7 for no pay, taking orders from tiny clients.
                · Jan 2001 to present · Unity, Maine
               Zookeeper, Grief Counselor, Stylist, Physician's Assistant, Judge, Short-order Cook, 
               Cheerleader, Psychic, Xray Vision Specialist, Chauffeur, Recreation Director, 
               Decision Maker, Storyteller, Janitor, Hygenist, Psychologist, Teacher, Mediator, 
               Laundress, Detective, Maid, Referee, Manager of Miracles, Life Coach, MOM.

Volunteer.  How could I forget volunteer? It's what we do.  Well, it's what I do.  Past Mom Congress delegates have started non-profits, entire movements, websites, lobby for education.  And what do I do?  I volunteer.  I feel very much like Baby on Dirty Dancing............."I carried a watermelon."

No movements, no websites. Heck, most teachers can't access this blog from their school based on the title alone! lmao  I'm excited to meet these amazing moms, to gather up as much information from the education experts, and to share it with whomever doesn't have a high filter on their internet is interested.

This year's Mom Congress theme is "Teach Me Something New" and is dedicated to fostering the crucially important relationship between parents and teachers.

Communication is key.  I hope to learn a lot and utilize even more.  I need all the help I can get, as we just moved to a new city last month.  I've gone from being "the mom in the know" in our old district, to the mom who knows nothing and no one :)  I've attended one PTO meeting.  I thought in a larger district...in the capital city...there would be lots of parents there.  There were 2 saints moms.  And the principal (she's great, btw! Totally dedicated and fun-nay!  I'm gonna like it here...once I find where/how I can fit in/help).

But being at the PTO meeting isn't the only way to volunteer. Perhaps more parents are involved in the classroom, or feel they put in their time by selling fundraising stuff (which clearly, is an important part as more school budgets are cut).  Or maybe dad/mom coaches one of the sport teams--that's definitely a time consuming job!!  And I can't even imagine where the working moms and dads find the extra time to put in an hour here or there (kudos to you!!).

All of the above are great ways to be involved.  And you know who notices the most?  Your kids.  And studies show students with parents who take an active role in their schooling tend to perform better academically and socially.  Do what works for you.  The kids'll be proud of you, and so will I.

And, nervous.  I'll still be nervous.

First! ever! flight.

*hyperventilates*

Please pass the paper bag.


Comment below, please!! :  How is communication at your child's school?  Do you have a good relationship with his/her teacher?  Why or why not?  How do you communicate?  email?  journal?  phone?  Any tips for moms with kids going into kindergarten?  or you know...me?  
Thanks!

Ayla

My heart is heavy. Everyday for the past two weeks, since this little girl  went missing from her father's home (15 min from here), I've eagerly checked the online news several times a day hoping upon hope that I'd read the words "Ayla's been FOUND!" But as time passes, and her father remains in hiding, while her mother whores herself out to every media outlet that waves a free plane ticket in her face, the feeling that a happy ending will occur is fading.

We watched as K-9 units and rescue teams searched the blocks near the high traffic area where Ayla Rey,nolds lives. Hugged our little ones tighter as the dedicated men and women hard at work tirelessly looking for Ayla, drained the rivers overnight, to search the riverbeds the next morning for clues, with help from airplanes.

Of course, when things like this happen across the country, you check up on it periodically...like the case of Caylee Anth,ony. I watched and was apalled by how that all went down. My heart aches for all the sweet babies who go missing or worse. But when it happens in your own back yard, so to speak, it shakes you. Wondering if your own children played alongside this one at McD's or the nearby playground we frequented this fall.

Last night, I was restless. And found myself thinking of Ayla once again. I watch far too many episodes of Criminal Minds, SVU, NCIS, etc., but what they have shown me is that a lot of times, the one clue that breaks the whole case open makes you want to slap yourself on the forehead, cuz it was that simple and was overlooked the whole time. I thought well, if this is a case of parental kidnapping (there is a custody battle ensuing and Ayla has a broken arm), then whoever took her hopefully loves her enough to put her in a carseat. Ooooh, or maybe, the parent slipped up and gave them her OWN carseat! Or are on surveillance leaving one of the few department stores in the area, carrying a carseat. I forwarded my thought to the PD and could only hope for the best again today.

But today, the best didn't come. Tonight, they've changed the status of Ayla's case from missing person to a criminal case, involving foul play.

The definitions I found...FOUL PLAY: violence, especially MURDER. Unfair or dishonest behavior (especially involving murder). Synonyms: blood, homocide, murder, rubout, slaying.

Shit.

Please let this sweetheart be okay.

(I cant get a pic to post from my tablet, but if I could it would've been the one of her sweet smile and chubby wrists *swoon*)